has anyone been shopping lately at a whole foods or perhaps a central market?

everytime i go through the checkout line there, i feel like i'm being silently evaluated on my social hip-ness. the most awkward moment for me is the inevitable 'paper or plastic' delimma. is this a trick question? does one answer confirm their assumed disdain of me and the other redeem me in their eyes depite my obvious daily use of hygiene products and makeup?

and most importantly... why do i worry about it?


wise words for the day:

when life hands you lemons,
add ice, vodka, and a sippy straw

: ) happy monday- viva lance!


i regret to inform you that nearly three weeks have passed without anything either
a)interesting or b)inspiring enough for me to bore my public with.

unless you count getting hit on by my chiropractor
watching my brother open wedding shower gifts wearing a dirty 'confucious say' t-shirt
starting to train for a new triathlon
agreeing to run my first 1/2 marathon with my two best friends from high school

believe me, you didnt miss anything.


happy 4th of july!!

what better way to celebrate our independence than with some thought provoking and eloquent words from our commander in chief?

"They misunderestimated me."
"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."
"If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it."
"More and more of our imports are coming from overseas."
"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
(quotes taken from the book, George W. Bushisms)

and for your viewing pleasure, please check out the daily show's debate between governer bush and president bush. its hilarious stuff.


one classic piece of advice is 'know your audience'. when it comes to any form of entertainment, be it writing, public speaking, stand up comedy...an essential part of success is knowing your audience.

this is my primary struggle in the world of blog. know my audience? i cant even see my audience! i've got people from work checking me out, my friends and their friends are reading me, and now my sister is getting my site forwarded to her from people i didnt even know knew i had a blog!

so do i talk about my crazy weird weekend of being hit on by a medical professional and weddings galore and awkwardness with old friends and getting entirely too drunk?

i guess until i decide i am either brave enough to be completely honest with the entire world or i feel confident that everyone has lost interest and is no longer logging on to see what shenanigans i'm up to, i'm feeling the need to censor just a little. sad but true.
welcome, beinvenidos, wilkkomen! i wanted to take a chance to greet all of you who are joining us in the middle of our broadcast. for your viewing pleasure, check out the archives! now you can see how this mess got started...thanks to my whiz of a roommie, they're up and running!