6.23.2011

6.21.2011

i feel obligated to follow up the previous doomsday post with a more encouraging 'the day got better' post. thankfully all 3 girls napped and woke up with a much sunnier outlook on the day. amen hallelujah.

i climbed into lily's bed as she was stirring from her nap and she half-smiled and said 'i love you mommy' with her eyes still closed. i knew at that moment the day was looking up.
you know, i started the day laughing about the whining and here i am mid-day and i just want to raise my white flag in surrender.

i don't know if i just ignore it better some days than others or if they really whine that much more on bad days, but i'm one step away from thrusting a kabob skewer in my ear so that i don't have to hear it anymore.

i'm not my usual cheery self today. i feel defeated and at the same time like i have failed my children. they deserve a mom who doesn't lose her patience with them and who finds joy in spending time with them. i am just not finding joy in being a mom today.

it breaks my heart to think that i am the best mom they are going to have. they just deserve better. maybe a better mom wouldn't have to hear such unhappiness all day long because she is making her children happy. i don't know. what i do know is that i'm tired of crying at naptime because i am exhausted and dreading the moment when they wake up.
nails on a chalkboard? nah, lily has that beat.

whining is the worst sound in the world.

6.20.2011

a real conversation in my kitchen last night.

m: i mean its just now june
k: well we're halfway through june, its almost july
m: its not ALMOST july! its just now june!
k: mollie, tomorrow is the 20th.
m: no its not (checking calendar).... wow.

seriously i feel like this just about sums up the summer so far. how is it almost july?!

i have dubbed this year 'the summer we stayed home'. we do have plans for a quick trip to dallas and a week(end) at the beach in august but other than that we are at home most days all day long. it is just too hard to get anywhere with a tiny baby along for the ride. especially when that baby is going to demand a nap in her cozy crib within about an hour of waking :)

6.15.2011

Upright annie

i can't believe susanna is already 6 months old. i'm fearing the day her baby bird fuzz hair actually lays down. i love her hair halo.

6.11.2011

it's been another wild one around here. i'll catch you up with some of the notable happenings this week:

- eve got a fever, but managed to smile and charm her way through it. no shock there.
- lily got a fever, but managed to moan and groan her way through it. no shock there.
- annie slept through the night three days in a row. fingers crossed for her new habit.
- lily started quoting movies including using an affectation to her voice. perhaps she is my child after all.
- i quoted a movie to a friend on facebook essentially saying her daughter had a gigantic head and then hoped she would recognize the movie and not think i was a jerk. (i vacillated between feeling crappy she might not get it and thinking surely any sarcastic friend of mine was familiar with the complete works of mike myers. she got the joke. whew.)
- eve got a twin mattress and her instinctual reaction was to climb on board, snuggle under her duvet and call out 'oooh! cozycozycozycozy!'
- lily was allowed to go to the bathroom at the grocery store alone while i waited outside the main door with the cart and two children. we were greeted less than a minute later by a poor screaming child who had just been scared to death by autoflush.

well that about sums it up. other than trips to the gym and park, not much else is going on around here. kevin is at the lakehouse for a boys weekend and i'm just homebound with my sickos. this lady is going to need a trip to barton springs on sunday when he gets home. ahhhh an afternoon at barton springs. now that's almost worth being alone with 3 kids all weekend :)

6.05.2011

reset. refresh. reformat. i do it all the time but i want to do it to my life, not my electronics. i told kevin today it would take me a week. i want to get rid of half our clothes, half our toys, clean every inch of this house, tackle my 'around the house' to-do list. i want to make space- room for us to grow, connect, give.

he offered to take the girls to dallas for a week. of course my knee jerk reaction was 'no way'. you're too busy, too long for the girls to be away, excuses excuses.

what if. what if he did take the girls for a week for me to just RESET our life. what would i do?? what would you do? what would be on your list? i'm probably dreaming here, but visions of a stripped bare house, organized weeks of grocery lists, and freshly scrubbed base boards are dancing in my head...

6.02.2011

love is.... trying to avoid eye contact with your spouse in the middle of the night because you're both shaking from holding in your laughter about how bad your child's farts smell.

i swear i can't make this stuff up. the stomach bug has burrowed its way back into our family circle again. darn bug!! it was my turn to pass it around this time and so far just lily has fallen victim after me. let's hope everyone else is spared.

seriously though, lily had some major swamp gas action happening last night and kevin and i were literally shaking trying not to laugh about it knowing if either of us lost it, we'd not only wake up the other children but likely hurt lily's feelings in a tender moment. poor sweet lily just did not feel good and it was all i could do to keep the chuckles inside once i saw kevin avert his eyes and bite his lip when the stench reached him.

i'm so glad i married a guy that i can laugh with about our child's flatulence at 1am (after she is back safely tucked into bed)