can i please give a shout-out to the 12 people that have visited this blog in the past month from searching the term 'hot ta mollie'.  you're either a little bit odd or you remember the hilariously awful title of this blog when i started it at age 23.

either way, big kiss... MWAH!
okay all. have you joined Pure Charity yet? basically you sign up, buy great stuff you probably already buy, and get a portion of your purchase back in a fund to donate to awesome causes.

sometimes it feels like there is nothing you can do to help.  that any impact you can have is too small to matter.  that is, until you hold the hand of a child who goes to school because you care and eats a healthy meal every day because you love.  then you realize that every little bit really does help.  maybe i can't change a country, perhaps i can't fix what is truly broken, but i can love and i can hold those hands.

check out pure charity and see what you think!  specifically i am funding the haiti tent city project.  a tropical storm had its way with haiti this past week and no huge damage was done (whew) but a lot of tents were damaged.

i've been to this tent city.  i've worshiped with them.  i've seen the indignity of their living situation.  and somehow it is now even worse.  i have to do what i can to help. 


lily's drawing from today.  she said the girl is 'remembering our bubba'.  be still my heart.


dear annie,

i'm planning to put you in footie pajamas as long as the morning sun lights up your white blonde hair and makes you look like cindy lou who. my apologies to however this affects your social standings in middle school.



we packed into the minivan this afternoon and headed to a discount store in search of back-to-school shoes.  the girls are in sandals and stinky worn-out toms most days.  we went to find closed toed shoes that wouldn't make their teachers want to banish them to playground and it was a success!

i was surprised at lily's choices.  not by the bling bling, light up shoes i immediately nixed, but at the sensible platinum gray ballet flats she chose to go with her blue and silver nikes. (i told them to pick a pair to run in and a pair to wear with dresses)  she passed up the pink glittery ones and the flower adorned ones in most mature fashion.

eve however went for the sweetest raspberry pink pair with flowers to accompany her purple accented nikes.  i can still count on her 3 year-old taste at least!

lily and eve wanted to wear a new pair out of the store so the clerk took the stickers off the bottoms and clipped the elastic bands to separate the shoes.  annie took one look at the girls putting on their new shoes and in disgust at being relegated to hand-me-downs yet again she asked 'shoes?  shoes?' as she took off her third-hand crocs.  i handed her lily's worn in pink toms and said 'sure annie!  you can wear these!'  she looked at me with a horrified look on her face and said 'no!  SHOES!!'

kevin and i laughed and hugged her.  we hadn't figured she was astute enough to be upset about it, but being third kids ourselves we know how it feels.  it was pretty darn adorable.

and thank goodness for discount stores.  holy heck i don't want to imagine what four pairs of shoes at the mall would have cost!

it was brought to my attention by a friend that this sounded awfully mean for sweet annie.  i would like to add that she has several almost new looking shoes from her sisters that just started fitting that she will sport this fall.  if i had been a prepared mama i would have stashed a pair in my purse to give her at the shoe store but i plum didn't think about it.  next time!!


october 8th i will get to hold those sweet faces at yahve shamma orphanage in my hands again and say 'i missed you'.  i'm going back to haiti!


how many times in the past few years have i felt put out or annoyed by our dog, eating the girls' food or digging a diaper out of the trash?  how many times have i shoo'ed him away from the dinner table with annoyance in my voice?  if i'm honest, it was more than i can remember.

but he was our casey bubba.  our sweet dog that i once waxed poetic about on the blog before three certain little girls took over our lives.  the boy that i once in confidence confessed to my sister that i was afraid i wouldn't be able to love a child as much as i loved him.  and i meant it.

i loved him so much that when pressed to find the perfect gift for me, my sister had a painting of him done.  and it has hung proudly in my home ever since.  i loved him so much that i slept on the laundry room floor next to him the night of his knee surgery knowing he couldn't make it up the stairs to our room.  i loved him so much that i would take him on walks to meet up with kevin as he finished bike rides just to see casey's tail wiggle with delight at the sight of his best friend.

he loved me so much he tolerated my three little girls that loved him and tormented him in turn.  he loved me so much that he pretended not to notice when they took more and more of my attention and he got less.  he loved me so much that he licked the salty tears off my face- more than once.  i wish he was here to lick my tears one last time.  i seem to have unending supply today.

the girls threw him a 'goodbye bubba' party at lunch.  complete with cheeseburgers, tres leches cake, and several renditions of 'for he's a jolly good fellow', it was a fitting tribute.  i'm not sure kevin and i were ready to say goodbye.  we went together to the vet.  we fed him treats.  we held him tight.

when the end came i wailed.  like a child i just couldn't control myself and i shouted.  i wanted to take back the past few years and see him as a young spry fellow again and enjoy him.  i found myself repeating 'i'm so sorry bubba.  i'm so sorry.  thank you'.  then when faced with the inevitability of them taking him away i buried my face in the soft folds of his neck fur and just breathed in.

i miss him.  i know it will get better with time and the sadness in my husband's eyes will soften.  but he will be missed.  that part will not change.


okay y'all.  i need to update the blog header.  i am in denial.  those sweet baby faces have changed so much!

kevin took the girls out of town for the weekend and i have had sweet sweet silence (with the exception of casey's rather loud snoring).  i got a haircut (a much much needed haircut), i met friends for happy hour, i ventured downtown with my fabulous friend brenda and met some new people.  i worked a little and now i'm thinking about heading to barton springs.

really a girl could get used to this. 

i miss my little ones- i will be crazy excited to see them when they get home.  but really i have cherished this quiet time more than i thought i would.  here's hoping kevin loved his weekend alone with the girls enough to do it again.

it is true what they say, the days are long but the years are short.  except when your kids are out of town.  then the days are short ;)


someone asked if i was a writer yesterday and i shrugged and said 'not really, i used to be'

days when life overwhelms i seem to have a harder time putting it into words than before.  my sister and i love the saying 'may your life one day be as wonderful as you make it appear online'.  i find myself walking the tightrope between posting only the great things and posting the not so great things and being a debbie downer.

i have had an overwhelming week, feeling stressed and confused about the future and our direction.  letting my negativity take over is never a good idea and tends to end in a inwardly selfish spiral. 

then i was at the pediatrician for well checks with annie and eve.  they were well behaved and delightful.  as the doctor (that i adore and have known since lily's first 1 week check up) left the room with a hug she said 'life is good, mama'.  and i thought, it is.  it really is.


another year in pictures is now a book for my girls!!

i love blurb!!http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/invited/2828914/a42865dbad5c4685785e88146a638d35d68c9a13

soooo glad to be caught up before i have yet another year to organize :)

***link fixed!!