i sat down with lily last night to read about the lord's supper.  she was inquisitive and full of questions about passover and why feet were so dirty during jesus' time.  we were having one of our first truly open engaged conversations about the bible.  she begged me to go on once Jesus was arrested to hear what happened next.

we read and read and i cried while i told her what happened to jesus.  she wiped away my tears and asked such great questions. we read on until easter and cheered for mary running as fast as she could to spread the news.

and it was a glimpse for me into this huge responsibility and privilege of guiding her faith.  and not in a song singing, church attending way.  in a heart posture, broken with jesus, cheering for mary magdelene's joy way.  what a gift.


one of my oldest friends in the world came over tonight.  we sat and talked and i just love the feeling of being with someone who has known me for nearly 20 years.

talk turned to the pool we are building in the backyard and i admitted i am having anxiety about the safety issues surrounding pools and my lovely friend had a wonderful suggestion.

so today before the pool is plastered, i wrote on the rough concrete the verse of isaiah 49:10.  so for those of you who plan to come swim in our pool this summer you can know beneath your floating feet are the words....

They will neither hunger nor thirst. The searing sun will not reach them anymore. For the LORD in his mercy will lead them; he will lead them beside cool waters.


there are moments when i see a characteristic of mine in one of my kids when i'm proud, times i'm embarrassed, but last night i had the unique feeling of pity for one of these inheritances.  i was reading a book to annie when eve and lily came in to join us.  annie and i were in the rocking chair and lily perched on one arm and eve stood on the other side. 

as we were reading eve realized she was the only person in the room with her feet on the ground and freaked out, yelling 'i don't like being the only one with my feet on the ground, i'm scared!' and jumping into my lap (and on top of her little sister in the process).  sweet eve!  i can relate to her scardey cat crazy tendencies because i used to have them.

and by 'used to', i mean still do.  i'm afraid of the dark.  i'm afraid of lakes.  the tiniest unexpected sound when alone basically makes me scream bloody murder.  when home or in a hotel without my husband i wash my face half at a time, you know... so i can keep one i open for monsters and murderers.  i made kevin put a mesh wire housing around the inside of the air conditioning vent over our bed because i was convinced a spider or bug would fall down onto my face in the middle of the night. i mean, i'm just getting started here.  i could keep going... trust me.

so to see this paralyzing ridiculousness passed on to my sweet eve made me a little bit sad for her, but at the same time chuckle.  because just when i think she couldn't be any more like me, she jumps onto a chair to get her feet off the ground.


we are dropping like flies over here.  another kiddo with a broken bone, another all too adorable brace!


i do NOT want another baby.  repeat.  i do NOT want another baby.

i was ridiculously happy to get the baby 'junk' out of my house (bouncy seats, swings, exernightmare) but the crib?  i seriously may have to make a therapy appointment whenever we take it down (you know, when she's like 11).

annie woke up crying in pain last night and i rocked her in her room and i sat there thinking 'wow.  this rocker and her crib are all that is left in the house of babies.' as she fell asleep laying on my chest i looked down and realized that her legs were bent up like a frog and she barely fits on me in that position.  it was the first time in nearly a year that she has willingly slept on my chest.

so as much as i do NOT want another baby... this is harder than i thought it would be.


newsflash:  i'm getting old.

as kevin so sweetly pointed out, we are 16 years from our high school graduation and it is 16 years until annie's.  as if that didn't make me feel old enough, this week in austin is SXSW.

SXSW is a music festival (come film, interactive, yadda yadda) that i used to plan my entire spring around.  planning out parties to attend, concerts not to miss, and hitting the town looking for cute single guys was the order of the day.  i took off days of work and stayed out until all hours.  the concept of it sounds a little like torture to me now.

i'll try to take the girls to a few daytime kid-friendly shows, but i am worried that will feel mostly lame.  then again, my girls love to get their groove on at concerts, so perhaps they will keep me feeling young?

it is hard to feel young when you turn on the radio in the car and after the first few bars of a song think 'oooh is this a catchy new song' and before the thought is even complete in your mind you realize its an old rod stewart song.  yeah.  so like i said, i'm old.


i was jogging the other day while on a quick work trip to dallas and it was colder than weather.com had predicted.  i borrowed an extra layer of clothes and headed out to run.  now if you've ever been on a treadmill next to me at the gym or live in my neighborhood you may already be familiar with my propensity to throw in some jazz hands depending on the music of the day.

so there i was, heading down a pretty busy street and i found myself air drumming.  i had the decency to *almost* get embarrassed for a moment, but then i remembered i was also wearing my dad's 1980 dallas cowboys winter knit hat with yarn puff ball on top.  which, really if you're going for 'cool' you've already missed by a mile.

that's when i remembered a moment at a bowling alley when kevin and i were dating, maybe engaged.  there was some random song playing and i was dancing around the lane with a bowling ball and he just looked at me and said 'you are SO going to embarrass our kids'.  and you know what?  he was apparently right.


kevin pointed out the other day that it was really time to change the images in my header.  seeing as i no longer have a baby and two toddlers.  i am in denial, but since annie had no teeth in the old shot and it looks like lily isn't far from actually starting to lose hers, he is probably right.

so here you go!  *tears*  my babies are growing up!