pray for me. i think i gave birth to a princess.
1.31.2008
1.29.2008
1.24.2008
my bible study is currently reading a book i was pretty prepared to think was 'fluff' and some of it is... but it has also been entertaining and convicting.
lily is being an angel and letting me catch up on my readings this morning and i came across this passage. i am a big red target and this hit me right in my gut. guilty as charged.
"We dance for approval of our mothers, our neighbors, our bosses, church people, magazines, strangers. We require their esteem. We beg them to validate us. Believer, why?? What can they tell you that God hasn't already said? The dance draws us toward discontentment, identity crisis, and despair. Everyone else is judging me. Everyone else has more. Everyone else is better. Everyone else. Everyone else. Who do you work so hard for?
What are you hoping to receive from them? What if our value exists because God takes pleasure in us? I know this isn't a very modern way to live your life, but what if the modern way of life really sucks and makes you lonely all the time? What if when we are with God we feel his love for us and know that we matter? I feel like I am in a lifeboat trying to get other people to say I am important and valued, and even when they do it feels as though their opinion isn't strong enough.
By our performance we choose our audience. In bowing to expectations and running around like chickens trying to appease the opinions of others, we perpetuate the cycle. We fuel the cycle. We've brought trouble on ourselves. All you can control is who you dance for. Either perform for a merciless audience of humanity or dance for an audience of One. There is no middle stage. Choose."
lily is being an angel and letting me catch up on my readings this morning and i came across this passage. i am a big red target and this hit me right in my gut. guilty as charged.
"We dance for approval of our mothers, our neighbors, our bosses, church people, magazines, strangers. We require their esteem. We beg them to validate us. Believer, why?? What can they tell you that God hasn't already said? The dance draws us toward discontentment, identity crisis, and despair. Everyone else is judging me. Everyone else has more. Everyone else is better. Everyone else. Everyone else. Who do you work so hard for?
What are you hoping to receive from them? What if our value exists because God takes pleasure in us? I know this isn't a very modern way to live your life, but what if the modern way of life really sucks and makes you lonely all the time? What if when we are with God we feel his love for us and know that we matter? I feel like I am in a lifeboat trying to get other people to say I am important and valued, and even when they do it feels as though their opinion isn't strong enough.
By our performance we choose our audience. In bowing to expectations and running around like chickens trying to appease the opinions of others, we perpetuate the cycle. We fuel the cycle. We've brought trouble on ourselves. All you can control is who you dance for. Either perform for a merciless audience of humanity or dance for an audience of One. There is no middle stage. Choose."
1.10.2008
2008. its 200-EIGHT! i can hardly believe it. so much has changed in the span of one year that i hardly know where to begin.
somewhere along the way i went from a career girl who would fly across the country and back in a day for an important client to a mom who flies off the handle if our nap schedule is interrupted. last year i dropped $150 on jeans without blinking an eye and now i comparison shop for sale items at discount stores. bedtime moved from anytime after 'must see tv' to anytime after 4pm and being 'dressed' has taken on a new minimalistic definition.
i have no idea what this coming year has in store for us, but i can guarantee you it will be full of smiles that will continue to squeeze my heart, more and more 'firsts', and will end with a toddler kissing me to welcome 2009. sounds like a great year to me!
somewhere along the way i went from a career girl who would fly across the country and back in a day for an important client to a mom who flies off the handle if our nap schedule is interrupted. last year i dropped $150 on jeans without blinking an eye and now i comparison shop for sale items at discount stores. bedtime moved from anytime after 'must see tv' to anytime after 4pm and being 'dressed' has taken on a new minimalistic definition.
i have no idea what this coming year has in store for us, but i can guarantee you it will be full of smiles that will continue to squeeze my heart, more and more 'firsts', and will end with a toddler kissing me to welcome 2009. sounds like a great year to me!
1.04.2008
1.02.2008
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