our first child was a terrible sleeper. had a suck sleep association which eventually led to wakings every 45min-1.5hours ALL NIGHT. ferber rocked our world in about 2 nights and since then she has slept ah-may-zing. she's nearly 4 and still sleeps great, takes naps, loves her bed.

my 2nd child was (and still is) an easy going dream. no sleep training necessary. i attributed this to my improved parenting skills ;)

then came annie. she's not a terrible sleeper. she was doing awesome there for a while- waking just once a night to nurse while sleeping 7:30pm-6am. then it all went to pot. for the past month she has been getting up about 4x a night. this doesn't work for several reasons which include the fact that i cannot be a zombie and work or take care of my children.

after a particularly hard week with very little sleep, we decided to reacquaint ourselves with dr. ferber and give it a shot. ONE night with ONE measly crying session that lasted less than 30 minutes (so really less than she has cried in the car at one time) was all it took. she woke up and cried out a few other times before going back to sleep. the 2nd night, she only nursed once. the third night, she only nursed once.

in fact, tonight i woke up at 3:30 to the sounds of her coo'ing in her bed. so we've gone from screaming bloody murder 4x a night to waking once while rolling around pleasantly. i'll consider that a success thankyouverymuch.

the other improvement is naps. i have had to rock this child into a sleepy oblivion for 4 naps a day and now i am laying her down totally awake but calm and she's napping. i can't tell you how much this changes the game. trying to quietly rock a baby for 30 or more minutes at a time, four or more times a day when you have a toddler and a preschooler roaming your house can be a hard pill to swallow. i fully admit these are the complications of having so many kids, so young in age but its nice to know i won't have to emerge from a dark room to find my children putting on makeup in my bathroom anymore.

all this to say, ferber gets an awfully bad rap sometimes but frankly i'd give the guy a big kiss if i could. and now, i think i'll go get some more sleep :)

happy day

happy anniversary

six years & three kids later i can't wait to go on a date with my husband tonight. i am married to such a wonderful friend, faithful partner, and someone i genuinely admire and adore. i love you, kevin!

you can continue this trip down memory lane with more pics on the photo blog :)

so i was feeling a little resentful this week when i realized my church (that i LOVE) is not having any kind of church service sunday morning for easter. instead they are opting for an afternoon celebration, communion, and cookout with the homeless downtown. i haven't ever been part of a church that was so completely invested in others and while i appreciate that more than i can express, i was a little bummed. my initial reaction was 'really? does everything have to be different??'

there are so many lovely memories of childhood that surround easter for me. i will always remember standing next to my mom wearing a gardenia corsage that my dad gave us every single year watching her cry as she sings 'christ the lord is risen today'. every year there was an easter egg hunt with hot pursuit of the 'dollar egg' by all three of us kids. i think we dyed eggs until i was 21 or so. (and i'm the youngest child!)

i was looking longingly at the smocked dresses in the girls' closet then i read a blog entry about the intention behind the big downtown celebration of passover instead of a traditional service. my favorite quote was "So between ages 0-32, I celebrated Easter the fun way: with bunnies, baskets, and expensive clothes. I mean, what better way to say “Jesus reigns” than dressing my preschooler in a $45 dress to show her off in the church lobby? (You’re welcome, Jesus. Be blessed.)"

it was enough to make me laugh and shake off my hang ups and decide that i guess i can get on board with this new way to celebrate that jesus proclaimed our freedom and showed us the full extent of his love. (you can read the whole blog entry HERE if you're interested)

now before you go calling me hippy dippy, be sure you hear that i know it is all about your intentions. neither celebration is right or wrong, and both are pointless when the message gets lost in the pomp and circumstance.

Christ the Lord is risen today, Alleluia!
Sons of men and angels say, Alleluia!
Raise your joys and triumphs high, Alleluia!
Sing, ye heavens, and earth reply, Alleluia!

Lives again our glorious King, Alleluia!
Where, O death, is now thy sting? Alleluia!
Once he died our souls to save, Alleluia!
Where's thy victory, boasting grave? Alleluia!

Soar we now where Christ has led, Alleluia!
Following our exalted Head, Alleluia!
Made like him, like him we rise, Alleluia!
Ours the cross, the grave, the skies, Alleluia!

Annie loves sit ups

best personal trainer ever. i'll do just about as many situps as i can stand when she smiles like this every time.

ever seen the way a baby smiles so big it looks like their smile is bigger than their whole face? yeah, that's the stuff.

oh tina fey, how i love you. your wit, your intelligence, your ability to make me hold my sides from laughter. she has outdone herself again. in her new book 'bossypants' she includes a prayer for her daughter that had me giggling pretty hard.

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her
When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.

i have a two year old. again.

it is hard to believe that my genevieve joined us just 24 months ago, but she is officially 2. i kinda make a big deal about birthdays. ok actually, i kinda make a HUGE deal out of birthdays. i was looking forward all night to coming into eve's room in the morning to be the first to wish her a happy birthday. lily beat me to it.

i was enjoying my cup of coffee this morning with my mom when i heard it come across the monitor... lily's little voice singing her sister the birthday song. it was one of those 'grab your heart' moments when you feel the breath squeeze out of you because you can't believe you are lucky enough to have such sweet girls.

just yesterday when we were anticipating GaGa's arrival i had the girls outside and they were running with their arms askew calling out 'suuuuuuper sisters!' they never cease to amaze me. and of course these are the moments i choose to reflect on when other parts of the day include eve being dragged by her arm down the sidewalk by her grumpy big sis.

all in all eve had a fabulous day. her birthday party was small and perfection. she adored the petting zoo and the cupcakes, she was surrounded by friends & family, and had a giant smile on her face all morning. to me, that is a big success.

Eve the fibber

talk about the sins of our fathers... eve is a scary good liar just like her mama was! i'm in for it.

Annie rolling

annie is a rolling fool! she has been flipping over back to front all day and of course the one time i whip out the camera to video tape it she ends up in some weird see-saw but i love it nonetheless. she's been going front to back for a while, but the back to front action is all new!

we never ever do nothin nice and easy. we always do it nice and rough.

my girl- rollin' on the river ;)


it has taken me at least a month to get a series of her rolling, but here it is. my favorite is the third one- face meets carpet. there are more insanely adorable (if i do say so myself) pictures of her on the photo blog.

go check out my sweet annie on the photo blog. LOVE her

three year olds. can't live with 'em, can't give em away.

we were late to the 'terrible threes' game. heck, i don't think we even really hit the 'terrible twos' to be perfectly honest. really in the scheme of things lily is still an easy kid, but her new found desire to test every. single. boundary. is wearing on me.

what i have realized over and over again as a parent is that the challenges we have with our children are reflections of ourselves. our selfishness. our obstinance. our greed. really, just our brokenness.

i asked lily this morning to have compassion for her sister. after about half a second of calm she started demanding attention and more from me again (to put it in perspective she was crying about my iphone's crummy netflix connection while her sister was sweaty, half asleep, covered in urine, had just been catheterized twice, pricked for a blood test, and given an antibiotic shot). i nearly lost it. i won't lie. i was a degree away from my boiling point and then i saw it. me. in her.

how many times should my heart be breaking for someone and instead i am concerned only with myself? what unjust stories or situations do i encounter only to moments later make life all about ME again rather than justice. if i am disappointed and my patience is running thin, i should really be sad for myself and thankful for redemption.

aaaaand eve has a kidney infection. when it rains it pours! glad she has been diagnosed and got an antibiotic shot to speed her on her way to recovery.

the pukes. we had 'em. it was NOT pretty. first came kevin, a day passed and i naively thought we were in the clear. then it got us. oh how the mighty have fallen.

nothing makes you NOT miss college days more than a night spent on a bathroom floor in a haze of heaving repeating to yourself 'this cannot last forever. it has to end at some point'. am i right?

so i start today on little sleep, home with three little ones who each have different needs, walking in circles with the baby in her room willing her to sleep for her first nap while praying something to the affect of 'really, God? surely we had bigger plans for my life?'

i need an attitude adjustment and that typically comes in a warm cup of coffee, however my trip to the pantry this morning yielded nothing of the sort. lily saw my dismay and patted my hand and said 'its okay mommy, you can have water for breakfast'. oh sweet lily, thanks for trying to make me feel better.

i realize this has turned into mostly a pity party. i just feel lately like my priorities and perspective are just off. and i don't know what will change that. for now i will have to be thankful for my family, our cozy shelter on a rainy day, and somehow figure out how to get my three to the grocery store for caffeine.

it is about that time of year...

more pics on the photo blog