tuesday, april 4th 2017. sitting in a circle with sisters tonight, holding hands, telling secrets, and my nine year old whispered her story. she decided this morning to trust in God. she put her hands in water and put a ring on her finger as a reminder and told God she was ready to trust him. through her tears she told us that she had felt his presence all day.
i held her face in my hands, both of us crying, and told her the truth. that her heart is now sealed for God alone and that he will never leave her or forsake her. it is done.
best. day. ever.
4.04.2017
9.15.2016
learning
so as i've said on here, i'm homeschooling now. full time, no training wheels, no joke. one of the pieces of homeschooling for us was choosing to send the girls one day a week to this absolute gift of a school called 'Earth Native'. the benefits of Earth Native are layered- on the surface it is exactly what I think kids their age should be doing: playing in the woods, getting dirty, having an adventure. it also offers me a great day to get work done and have some mental and emotional space from the girls.
i took a picture right when we arrived on wednesday. they were clean. excited. nervous.
two of the girls have good friends who are also adventuring into Earth Native with us this year and one does not. that one had me stay for quite a while, but once she was sure i could go, i left! it was the first time i had left all 3 of them somewhere since May and it was glorious! i knew they were not only having the time of their lives, but learning and growing AND i had a productive day!!
when it was time for pickup i showed up early (of course) and this is what i saw..... dirty. tired. ecstatic.
these are the moments when i just look at those faces and think 'this is right.' i am so thankful for these three lives and what an adventure this truly is! i am so so thankful. for all of it.
i took a picture right when we arrived on wednesday. they were clean. excited. nervous.
two of the girls have good friends who are also adventuring into Earth Native with us this year and one does not. that one had me stay for quite a while, but once she was sure i could go, i left! it was the first time i had left all 3 of them somewhere since May and it was glorious! i knew they were not only having the time of their lives, but learning and growing AND i had a productive day!!
when it was time for pickup i showed up early (of course) and this is what i saw..... dirty. tired. ecstatic.
these are the moments when i just look at those faces and think 'this is right.' i am so thankful for these three lives and what an adventure this truly is! i am so so thankful. for all of it.
9.14.2016
time capsule
what a treat it was to have my friend at Janice Reyes Photography create this sweet video of my favorite people. i only cried once watching it and i know it will be a family treasure forever.
8.10.2016
school.... again.
so remember when i wrote a post about our decision to send the kids (well just lily at the time) to a university model private school? i mean i remember that decision making process like it was yesterday. it was so emotional for me. i questioned everything. it felt so serious.
when we first considered a university school i said 'no way, no how' but when the rubber hit the road on actually figuring out kindergarten, i scaled back my personal and work commitments to make it work. i never thought it would be the right thing for us, but it sure was. fast forward three years and i would have told you all along that i would 'no way, no how' homeschool my kids. but here we are. and i'm homeschooling.
i have had so many people ask me why we came to this decision and there are so many facets of it, that i cannot even figure out how to explain it to anyone else other than that it is right for us. that i am fully excited and ready for it. that my kids chose it. that i know without a doubt it will be a challenge, but that it is the best for our family.
what that means for my friendships and community that i have built over the past couple of years? i'm honestly not sure. will i feel completely lonely and isolated? i certainly hope not. i just want to love my girls, help them learn, and enjoy some laughs along the way.
so here goes nothing...
when we first considered a university school i said 'no way, no how' but when the rubber hit the road on actually figuring out kindergarten, i scaled back my personal and work commitments to make it work. i never thought it would be the right thing for us, but it sure was. fast forward three years and i would have told you all along that i would 'no way, no how' homeschool my kids. but here we are. and i'm homeschooling.
i have had so many people ask me why we came to this decision and there are so many facets of it, that i cannot even figure out how to explain it to anyone else other than that it is right for us. that i am fully excited and ready for it. that my kids chose it. that i know without a doubt it will be a challenge, but that it is the best for our family.
what that means for my friendships and community that i have built over the past couple of years? i'm honestly not sure. will i feel completely lonely and isolated? i certainly hope not. i just want to love my girls, help them learn, and enjoy some laughs along the way.
so here goes nothing...
2.19.2016
friend
i never post here but i read this and i want to remember it.
But if I want my daughter to know how to be a good friend, I need to be the one to show her. I need to treat my friends with respect, with kindness, with the benefit of the doubt. I need to rise above my old and deep-set habit of passive aggressive polite. I need to model friendship on purpose.
It starts with us, moms. It starts with a deep breath. It starts with responding when you don’t want to. It starts with praying over our words before pressing ‘send’. It starts with simple honesty when it would be easier to stay silent. It starts with asking the hard questions and being willing to answer them ourselves. It starts in our kitchens, in our living rooms, on our phones and with our coffee pots. It starts in our own lives and it starts in our own hearts.
I’m putting out a call to be brave. To embrace the sweetness and the depth of real friendship. To hold ourselves to a higher standard than silence. To become the kind of friend we pray our daughters have. This kind of friendship isn’t easy. It’s hard and messy and can come with real heartache. But it can come with richness and love and someone to really do life with, too, and it is so worth it.
-Girl with a blog
"We don't learn to love each other well in the easy moments. Anyone is good compay at a cocktail party. But love is born when we misunderstand one another and make it right, when we cry in the kitchen, when we show up uninvited with magazines and granola bars, in an effort to say, I love you"
-Shauna Niequist
But if I want my daughter to know how to be a good friend, I need to be the one to show her. I need to treat my friends with respect, with kindness, with the benefit of the doubt. I need to rise above my old and deep-set habit of passive aggressive polite. I need to model friendship on purpose.
It starts with us, moms. It starts with a deep breath. It starts with responding when you don’t want to. It starts with praying over our words before pressing ‘send’. It starts with simple honesty when it would be easier to stay silent. It starts with asking the hard questions and being willing to answer them ourselves. It starts in our kitchens, in our living rooms, on our phones and with our coffee pots. It starts in our own lives and it starts in our own hearts.
I’m putting out a call to be brave. To embrace the sweetness and the depth of real friendship. To hold ourselves to a higher standard than silence. To become the kind of friend we pray our daughters have. This kind of friendship isn’t easy. It’s hard and messy and can come with real heartache. But it can come with richness and love and someone to really do life with, too, and it is so worth it.
-Girl with a blog
"We don't learn to love each other well in the easy moments. Anyone is good compay at a cocktail party. But love is born when we misunderstand one another and make it right, when we cry in the kitchen, when we show up uninvited with magazines and granola bars, in an effort to say, I love you"
-Shauna Niequist
7.27.2014
seven
seven years ago today i gained a new identity. i became 'mommy'.
though she wouldn't call me that for nearly another 12 months, my whole
life changed that day and nothing has ever been the same. i would not
say that most of motherhood has come easily to me. i have so much
respect for the role of 'mom' that i often truly feel overwhelmed often
by the gravity of the responsibility of it all. i question my choices, i
make mistakes, i ask for forgiveness. we have fun, we laugh hard, we
hold hands.
and she is the one who started all of this, my lily margaret. seven years of all of this. seven years of both of us learning more about ourselves, each other, our world. i haven't ever met a child like lily. she is equal parts artist and perfectionist. her exacting standards for herself are impressive and impossible. her ideas are inventive. her friendships are enviable. her energy is endless. her art is stunningly original. her compassion is inspiring. her love is my muse.
i am so thankful for my birthday girl. i love you lily.
and she is the one who started all of this, my lily margaret. seven years of all of this. seven years of both of us learning more about ourselves, each other, our world. i haven't ever met a child like lily. she is equal parts artist and perfectionist. her exacting standards for herself are impressive and impossible. her ideas are inventive. her friendships are enviable. her energy is endless. her art is stunningly original. her compassion is inspiring. her love is my muse.
i am so thankful for my birthday girl. i love you lily.
seven
seven years ago today i gained a new identity. i became 'mommy'. though she wouldn't call me that for nearly another 12 months, my whole life changed that day and nothing has ever been the same. i would not say that most of motherhood has come easily to me. i have so much respect for the role of 'mom' that i often truly feel overwhelmed often by the gravity of the responsibility of it all. i question my choices, i make mistakes, i ask for forgiveness. we have fun, we laugh hard, we hold hands.
and she is the one who started all of this, my lily margaret. seven years of all of this. seven years of both of us learning more about ourselves, each other, our world. i haven't ever met a child like lily. she is equal parts artist and perfectionist. her exacting standards for herself are impressive and impossible. her ideas are inventive. her friendships are enviable. her energy is endless. her art is stunningly original. her compassion is inspiring. her love is my muse.
i am so thankful for my birthday girl. i love you lily.
and she is the one who started all of this, my lily margaret. seven years of all of this. seven years of both of us learning more about ourselves, each other, our world. i haven't ever met a child like lily. she is equal parts artist and perfectionist. her exacting standards for herself are impressive and impossible. her ideas are inventive. her friendships are enviable. her energy is endless. her art is stunningly original. her compassion is inspiring. her love is my muse.
i am so thankful for my birthday girl. i love you lily.
7.18.2014
review: west elm rochester sleeper sofa
spoiler alert: its terrible.
the rochester sleeper sofa we waited on since may arrived today not only missing a cushion, but the 'bed' pulls out to a mattress that is 10" shorter than a queen. the bed is advertised as a queen pull out. ummmmmm its not. and on top of that the mechanics inside are a HOT MESS and you basically feel like you are going to fall through it and it sways back and forth when you touch it.
the local manager wanted them to send me a new one but i don't want a sofa of this quality. its TERRIBLE. so they are picking it up today (thankfully) for a full return. i'm incredibly disappointed as combining our offices and the guest room was one major pain point of downsizing and we still don't have a solution.
so anyway that's my review. stay away. FAR away.
the rochester sleeper sofa we waited on since may arrived today not only missing a cushion, but the 'bed' pulls out to a mattress that is 10" shorter than a queen. the bed is advertised as a queen pull out. ummmmmm its not. and on top of that the mechanics inside are a HOT MESS and you basically feel like you are going to fall through it and it sways back and forth when you touch it.
the local manager wanted them to send me a new one but i don't want a sofa of this quality. its TERRIBLE. so they are picking it up today (thankfully) for a full return. i'm incredibly disappointed as combining our offices and the guest room was one major pain point of downsizing and we still don't have a solution.
so anyway that's my review. stay away. FAR away.
7.11.2014
you are
i learned to love music with a hairbrush in my hand, dancing on the couch, singing at the top of my lungs to my mom's lionel richie albums on the record player.
for the past 10 years my mom and i have called each other every single time our favorite 'you are' is playing anywhere. i seriously stop in my tracks when it comes over the speakers in the grocery store and dial her up. it will forever make me think of her hip-shaking side-step dance that she does to pretty much any song written before 1985.
she was a die hard commodores fan long before he was 'lionel' and i may have an unnatural love for his crooning due to early life indoctrination. so when my sister called to say his 'greatest hits' tour was coming to austin we immediately bought tickets and surprised her for mother's day. for the past week my car has been a non stop playing ground for all things lionel- brick house, easy like sunday morning, dancing on the ceiling. non. stop.
the long awaited concert was last night and it did not disappoint. lionel was funny, charming, adorable, and very very sweaty. (hey, its texas in july, what did he expect??) when about 2 bars of 'you are' played over the speakers i literally screamed and jumped out of my seat and we hugged and swayed and laughed and just drank in the moment. it was amazing. and will probably be one of my favorite nights with my sister and my mom that i ever have.
just as i was about to post on facebook about my moment, i had a sharp twinge in my heart. one of my best friends was mourning 19 years without her mother yesterday. i was not only overwhelmed in the hilarious wonderfulness of the lionel concert, but by how blessed i am not only to have my mom with me to sing and dance to 'you are' but for every step along the way for the past 36 years.
i love you mom.
for the past 10 years my mom and i have called each other every single time our favorite 'you are' is playing anywhere. i seriously stop in my tracks when it comes over the speakers in the grocery store and dial her up. it will forever make me think of her hip-shaking side-step dance that she does to pretty much any song written before 1985.
she was a die hard commodores fan long before he was 'lionel' and i may have an unnatural love for his crooning due to early life indoctrination. so when my sister called to say his 'greatest hits' tour was coming to austin we immediately bought tickets and surprised her for mother's day. for the past week my car has been a non stop playing ground for all things lionel- brick house, easy like sunday morning, dancing on the ceiling. non. stop.
the long awaited concert was last night and it did not disappoint. lionel was funny, charming, adorable, and very very sweaty. (hey, its texas in july, what did he expect??) when about 2 bars of 'you are' played over the speakers i literally screamed and jumped out of my seat and we hugged and swayed and laughed and just drank in the moment. it was amazing. and will probably be one of my favorite nights with my sister and my mom that i ever have.
just as i was about to post on facebook about my moment, i had a sharp twinge in my heart. one of my best friends was mourning 19 years without her mother yesterday. i was not only overwhelmed in the hilarious wonderfulness of the lionel concert, but by how blessed i am not only to have my mom with me to sing and dance to 'you are' but for every step along the way for the past 36 years.
i love you mom.
5.26.2014
i should rename the blog 'adventures in downsizing'. our big move is this week! we are reducing our living space by 1100 square feet and have been busy selling furniture and things that (thankfully) just won't fit in the new house.
people's reactions are pretty polarizing. they either respond positively with something along the lines of "oh wow, that will be so freeing" or they respond on the negative with "are you serious??" well, YES we are serious! i know this will not be without its challenges, but we are definitely up for it.
this is of course not to say we won't miss our (not so) little piece of paradise. i have moments when i want to sit down and have a really long hard cry about leaving but honestly, i just don't have time. moving 5 people is a full time job. and i have a full time job already. and did i mention school's out for summer already??
so we have 6 more days here in our 'country' abode and as we head back to civilization, i'll take lots of pictures of the new space once its up and running. i'm truly thrilled about our new neighborhood and the people we are going to be living life with at our new address.
people's reactions are pretty polarizing. they either respond positively with something along the lines of "oh wow, that will be so freeing" or they respond on the negative with "are you serious??" well, YES we are serious! i know this will not be without its challenges, but we are definitely up for it.
this is of course not to say we won't miss our (not so) little piece of paradise. i have moments when i want to sit down and have a really long hard cry about leaving but honestly, i just don't have time. moving 5 people is a full time job. and i have a full time job already. and did i mention school's out for summer already??
so we have 6 more days here in our 'country' abode and as we head back to civilization, i'll take lots of pictures of the new space once its up and running. i'm truly thrilled about our new neighborhood and the people we are going to be living life with at our new address.
5.16.2014
reno
i've been watching hgtv long enough that i've convinced myself i can throw around phrases like 'reno' and 'demo' when referring to the house and sound legit, but let's be honest. i probably sound like a crazy person.
here is a mini before/after of some of the drywall changes happening this week and after today there will be no more tile or carpet in the house (save the girls' bedrooms since they loooooove carpet and it does make a small room feel much more cozy).
i wish i'd taken 'real' before pictures with a camera that doesn't also make phone calls, but this will have to do!
here is a mini before/after of some of the drywall changes happening this week and after today there will be no more tile or carpet in the house (save the girls' bedrooms since they loooooove carpet and it does make a small room feel much more cozy).
i wish i'd taken 'real' before pictures with a camera that doesn't also make phone calls, but this will have to do!
arches in entry way surrounding a skylight removed, including inset wall arch
(subtopic: architects of the 90s. wtf)
(subtopic: architects of the 90s. wtf)
before/after of the arch madness
5.13.2014
dear annie,
when i tell you pacifiers are not allowed outside your room, please don't think you're fooling me when you walk around with your hands covering the bottom half of your face. or when you hold your blanket lovey in a ball with something clearly inside. or when you have a suspicious lump in your leggings.
signed,
not born yesterday
when i tell you pacifiers are not allowed outside your room, please don't think you're fooling me when you walk around with your hands covering the bottom half of your face. or when you hold your blanket lovey in a ball with something clearly inside. or when you have a suspicious lump in your leggings.
signed,
not born yesterday
4.30.2014
moving on up
i had planned to post a LINK to our home for sale here to boost the possibility of a quick sale, but the austin market didn't need me to help find a buyer one bit. if you live elsewhere in the world it might not be on your radar, but with our small town having on average 150 new people moving to it on the daily, the real estate market is insanity.
we started to feel the tug to move last summer. despite having just put in an amazing pool of our design and loving having friends over to enjoy it almost daily, we still felt living in our current home left us with a feeling of lacking community. those in big cities might not really understand how much of a difference 5-10 miles can make in austin (and especially southwest austin) but the stronger the tug felt and the closer we came to the prime selling season we felt it was time to leave.
every person that saw our listing asked me why in the world we were leaving this paradise and to that i really don't have an answer that has satisfied many of the inquirers. i don't need an answer for anyone else and kevin and i are thankful to be 100% on the same page as far as leaving is concerned. for some reason 'being closer to family' and 'closer to downtown' or 'we miss living in community' doesn't seem to convince anyone else we should be leaving. i am going to miss this house. i will likely never live in another one like it and i will miss just a million things about it. in the end, it is just a house.
so where are we going? well we aren't leaving austin (never, silly). we are simply moving about 8 miles away, still in southwest austin in a neighborhood where my sister's family and several friends live. after much gnashing of teeth and worry and prayers for peace, i resigned to needing to get an apartment for the summer while we continued to home search (which in austin is more like stalking then pouncing and hoping your offer beats the other 5-10 they get the day the house hits the market).
and then our offer was chosen. the first offer we put in on any home was selected. for a house on my sister's street. 5 houses away from a family member! that was one of those days when you don't have to convince me that God delights in the details of our lives.
wanting this to be a smooth transition for my girls, i already signed them up to be on the new neighborhood's swim team. we are just two days into practice and standing yesterday watching the girls chatting with other 5-6 year old neighbors made me so happy. i was able to talk to no less than 5 amazing women that i am thrilled to have in closer proximity of my life. annie was able to play with her little cousins on the playground during practice.
sometimes it seems to good to be true. i know its going to be a painful transition in some ways (goodbye yard, pool, and about 1200 sq feet!!!) but we are hoping the reward far outweighs those growing pains. we are looking forward to our move in less than 6 weeks!
we started to feel the tug to move last summer. despite having just put in an amazing pool of our design and loving having friends over to enjoy it almost daily, we still felt living in our current home left us with a feeling of lacking community. those in big cities might not really understand how much of a difference 5-10 miles can make in austin (and especially southwest austin) but the stronger the tug felt and the closer we came to the prime selling season we felt it was time to leave.
every person that saw our listing asked me why in the world we were leaving this paradise and to that i really don't have an answer that has satisfied many of the inquirers. i don't need an answer for anyone else and kevin and i are thankful to be 100% on the same page as far as leaving is concerned. for some reason 'being closer to family' and 'closer to downtown' or 'we miss living in community' doesn't seem to convince anyone else we should be leaving. i am going to miss this house. i will likely never live in another one like it and i will miss just a million things about it. in the end, it is just a house.
so where are we going? well we aren't leaving austin (never, silly). we are simply moving about 8 miles away, still in southwest austin in a neighborhood where my sister's family and several friends live. after much gnashing of teeth and worry and prayers for peace, i resigned to needing to get an apartment for the summer while we continued to home search (which in austin is more like stalking then pouncing and hoping your offer beats the other 5-10 they get the day the house hits the market).
and then our offer was chosen. the first offer we put in on any home was selected. for a house on my sister's street. 5 houses away from a family member! that was one of those days when you don't have to convince me that God delights in the details of our lives.
wanting this to be a smooth transition for my girls, i already signed them up to be on the new neighborhood's swim team. we are just two days into practice and standing yesterday watching the girls chatting with other 5-6 year old neighbors made me so happy. i was able to talk to no less than 5 amazing women that i am thrilled to have in closer proximity of my life. annie was able to play with her little cousins on the playground during practice.
sometimes it seems to good to be true. i know its going to be a painful transition in some ways (goodbye yard, pool, and about 1200 sq feet!!!) but we are hoping the reward far outweighs those growing pains. we are looking forward to our move in less than 6 weeks!
3.17.2014
taps microphone
is this thing still on???
i find it fitting that my last post over 6 months ago was about deciding to do a hybrid homeschool because that illustrates basically what life has been since september. family, school, church, work. repeat.
i wouldn't change a single thing about it. it has been so rewarding to be an active part of lily's kindergarten year and we have decided to hang in there for another year. so we will have 1st grade for lily and eve will be in kinder! i can hardly believe it. it will be a whole new challenge to homeschool two at the same time, so don't expect me to be on here any more frequently :)
in the absence of posting here i have a myriad of thoughts and half written posts swimming around in my head but just lack the time to pound them out on the keyboard. i do miss writing and the record that the blog provides through the years.
i photographed a wedding saturday about an hour and a half away from home at a ranch, about 25 minutes down country roads from the nearest highway. at 11pm on a country road, nearly half an hour from the nearest light post, do you know how dark it is?
dark. i mean creepy sea of black, can't see anything very far ahead even with your brights on, and did i mention it was foggy? it was.
i am now and have always been terrified of the dark. there is something so all encompassing about darkness that i can't get over. i know intellectually that i'm fine and i'm safe, but that means next to nothing when everything around me is black. i freak.
the morning after that drive i sat in church hearing the song lyrics 'your name is a light in the darkness, oh your name is a word of truth.' and despite having heard about 'the light' my entire life, it really washed over me how hopeless darkness feels. how lonely. scary. uncertain. and it just takes one light (or if you're me, the brights and interior lights) to break through all of it and change the whole game.
i'm thankful today and always for the light. and i hope to pop in here more often than i have been.
i find it fitting that my last post over 6 months ago was about deciding to do a hybrid homeschool because that illustrates basically what life has been since september. family, school, church, work. repeat.
i wouldn't change a single thing about it. it has been so rewarding to be an active part of lily's kindergarten year and we have decided to hang in there for another year. so we will have 1st grade for lily and eve will be in kinder! i can hardly believe it. it will be a whole new challenge to homeschool two at the same time, so don't expect me to be on here any more frequently :)
in the absence of posting here i have a myriad of thoughts and half written posts swimming around in my head but just lack the time to pound them out on the keyboard. i do miss writing and the record that the blog provides through the years.
i photographed a wedding saturday about an hour and a half away from home at a ranch, about 25 minutes down country roads from the nearest highway. at 11pm on a country road, nearly half an hour from the nearest light post, do you know how dark it is?
dark. i mean creepy sea of black, can't see anything very far ahead even with your brights on, and did i mention it was foggy? it was.
i am now and have always been terrified of the dark. there is something so all encompassing about darkness that i can't get over. i know intellectually that i'm fine and i'm safe, but that means next to nothing when everything around me is black. i freak.
the morning after that drive i sat in church hearing the song lyrics 'your name is a light in the darkness, oh your name is a word of truth.' and despite having heard about 'the light' my entire life, it really washed over me how hopeless darkness feels. how lonely. scary. uncertain. and it just takes one light (or if you're me, the brights and interior lights) to break through all of it and change the whole game.
i'm thankful today and always for the light. and i hope to pop in here more often than i have been.
7.31.2013
i was asked in a comment to talk about our choice of schools and how we came to the decision on where to start elementary school for our oldest daughter.
well gosh it wasn't easy. we are in a great school district with strong test scores and our house is zoned for an elementary school that some of my friends are happy with, some not so happy. in my gut i just knew we needed to explore our options. austin is nothing if not adventurous and well educated, so there is not a shortage of education options. from unschooling to private to charter to waldorf, we have it all. and we have it all nearby.
i talked to parents at all kinds of schools. i quickly in the early fall ruled out the most common alternative choice for our friends and community- a hybrid homeschool, university school that was classical christian education. kids go to school just 2 days a week in kinder and do 2 days of homeschool. my reasoning for ruling this out was that my own schedule and abilities just made it seem too far a reach for us.
we applied to christian schools, we entered charter school lotteries. we prayed, i cried. i panicked.
christmas rolled around and i told kevin, we should at least go to the homeschool/university school open house. we rsvp'ed and planned to attend. then the truck ran over our lives and everything was on hold indefinitely. she was accepted at a small private christian school. i thought this seemed simple, safe, yes.
as we emerged from the accident fog, things seemed to shift a bit. we went to the late spring university homeschool open house. we knew that night, it was right. it was our school. i was terrified and peaceful at the same time. this meant a lot of change, a lot. change.
we applied and then held our breath. the longer we waited the more i knew i would be positively devastated if she was not accepted. then when we were lucky enough to be accepted i panicked that i was not sending my kids away 5 days a week. haven't i been waiting for a chance to be the one with a place to send her kids 5 days a week for nearly 6 years?!
i made the choice to close a portion of my business indefinitely to accommodate this change and have cut back my work hours roughly by half to make space in my week for the homeschool days that we will have starting with the school year.
since making this decision about her schooling i have felt freedom, community, and am excited but also intimidated by the coming year. i think she and i both have so much to learn and i am thrilled that we will be growing together. we will be together. this makes me the happiest mom. i know it will be a stretch for both of us and i adore that we will go through it all together.
we have also decided to make our education decisions one year at a time. this is our choice for this year and this year only. we do not know what the future holds and will cherish being an active part of our daughter's kindergarten year.
well gosh it wasn't easy. we are in a great school district with strong test scores and our house is zoned for an elementary school that some of my friends are happy with, some not so happy. in my gut i just knew we needed to explore our options. austin is nothing if not adventurous and well educated, so there is not a shortage of education options. from unschooling to private to charter to waldorf, we have it all. and we have it all nearby.
i talked to parents at all kinds of schools. i quickly in the early fall ruled out the most common alternative choice for our friends and community- a hybrid homeschool, university school that was classical christian education. kids go to school just 2 days a week in kinder and do 2 days of homeschool. my reasoning for ruling this out was that my own schedule and abilities just made it seem too far a reach for us.
we applied to christian schools, we entered charter school lotteries. we prayed, i cried. i panicked.
christmas rolled around and i told kevin, we should at least go to the homeschool/university school open house. we rsvp'ed and planned to attend. then the truck ran over our lives and everything was on hold indefinitely. she was accepted at a small private christian school. i thought this seemed simple, safe, yes.
as we emerged from the accident fog, things seemed to shift a bit. we went to the late spring university homeschool open house. we knew that night, it was right. it was our school. i was terrified and peaceful at the same time. this meant a lot of change, a lot. change.
we applied and then held our breath. the longer we waited the more i knew i would be positively devastated if she was not accepted. then when we were lucky enough to be accepted i panicked that i was not sending my kids away 5 days a week. haven't i been waiting for a chance to be the one with a place to send her kids 5 days a week for nearly 6 years?!
i made the choice to close a portion of my business indefinitely to accommodate this change and have cut back my work hours roughly by half to make space in my week for the homeschool days that we will have starting with the school year.
since making this decision about her schooling i have felt freedom, community, and am excited but also intimidated by the coming year. i think she and i both have so much to learn and i am thrilled that we will be growing together. we will be together. this makes me the happiest mom. i know it will be a stretch for both of us and i adore that we will go through it all together.
we have also decided to make our education decisions one year at a time. this is our choice for this year and this year only. we do not know what the future holds and will cherish being an active part of our daughter's kindergarten year.
there are just certain things in life that you don't know the depth of your passion for until pushed. i have begun to realize how strongly i feel about the freedom of expression and worship lately. it isn't something i have given much thought in the past and what a blessing it is to live in a country where i have been privileged to take this freedom for granted.
as a mom i allow and encourage my kiddos to worship every day- in songs, in dance, in our words, in the way we treat others. it is all worship. or rather it CAN all be worship.
i want my kids to be able to feel fully themselves in every environment. to feel authentic and comfortable with all walks of people and in all places.
we started at a new school this week. kindergarten is becoming a reality very quickly. i already feel fed and nurtured by our school choice and i am so so excited about this coming year. as these random disparate thoughts were bouncing around my head this morning i sat in a lecture and heard a school leader say "don't reduce your faith to morals and behavior. your kids need to know and trust the truth of the gospel"
amen, hallelujah to that. so here's to a year of character building. i think lily and i both have a lot to learn in kindergarten, but my greatest hope is that she will feel fully able to be her true self, to find ways to worship in her own way daily, and to find a connection to the truth that is the gospel.
as a mom i allow and encourage my kiddos to worship every day- in songs, in dance, in our words, in the way we treat others. it is all worship. or rather it CAN all be worship.
i want my kids to be able to feel fully themselves in every environment. to feel authentic and comfortable with all walks of people and in all places.
we started at a new school this week. kindergarten is becoming a reality very quickly. i already feel fed and nurtured by our school choice and i am so so excited about this coming year. as these random disparate thoughts were bouncing around my head this morning i sat in a lecture and heard a school leader say "don't reduce your faith to morals and behavior. your kids need to know and trust the truth of the gospel"
amen, hallelujah to that. so here's to a year of character building. i think lily and i both have a lot to learn in kindergarten, but my greatest hope is that she will feel fully able to be her true self, to find ways to worship in her own way daily, and to find a connection to the truth that is the gospel.
7.23.2013
do you ever see a new product and think 'i totally should have thought of that!'? i saw a post on facebook about something called TILE and oh-my-goodness. if only this had been around when i was a kid, it could have saved us some very tense afternoons of being ordered to search the house high and low for my dad's keys, dayplanner, and remote. ha!
genius.
genius.
3.29.2013
i sat down with lily last night to read about the lord's supper. she was inquisitive and full of questions about passover and why feet were so dirty during jesus' time. we were having one of our first truly open engaged conversations about the bible. she begged me to go on once Jesus was arrested to hear what happened next.
we read and read and i cried while i told her what happened to jesus. she wiped away my tears and asked such great questions. we read on until easter and cheered for mary running as fast as she could to spread the news.
and it was a glimpse for me into this huge responsibility and privilege of guiding her faith. and not in a song singing, church attending way. in a heart posture, broken with jesus, cheering for mary magdelene's joy way. what a gift.
we read and read and i cried while i told her what happened to jesus. she wiped away my tears and asked such great questions. we read on until easter and cheered for mary running as fast as she could to spread the news.
and it was a glimpse for me into this huge responsibility and privilege of guiding her faith. and not in a song singing, church attending way. in a heart posture, broken with jesus, cheering for mary magdelene's joy way. what a gift.
3.27.2013
one of my oldest friends in the world came over tonight. we sat and talked and i just love the feeling of being with someone who has known me for nearly 20 years.
talk turned to the pool we are building in the backyard and i admitted i am having anxiety about the safety issues surrounding pools and my lovely friend had a wonderful suggestion.
so today before the pool is plastered, i wrote on the rough concrete the verse of isaiah 49:10. so for those of you who plan to come swim in our pool this summer you can know beneath your floating feet are the words....
talk turned to the pool we are building in the backyard and i admitted i am having anxiety about the safety issues surrounding pools and my lovely friend had a wonderful suggestion.
so today before the pool is plastered, i wrote on the rough concrete the verse of isaiah 49:10. so for those of you who plan to come swim in our pool this summer you can know beneath your floating feet are the words....
They will neither hunger nor thirst. The searing sun will not reach them
anymore. For the LORD in his mercy will lead them; he will lead them
beside cool waters.
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