you know you got good incriminating video of your husband when he realizes you're filming and yells 'aw man you're going to post this!' then launches into a string of profanity in an attempt to make your video unusable.
people, let it be known that my husband is very very particular about his jeans. i tried to edit the video of evidence but you can't really hear him anyway. darnit.
3.24.2011
i broke a promise yesterday. when we found out #3 was on the way i swore to kevin that i wouldn't get emotional when she outgrew her newborn clothes and be all swoony about tiny onesies. i lied.
the sad part is, i am just now getting through the boxes of clothes that were returned to us after being on loan to my sister's twins and there is so much stuff and so little time that i finally found the box of my favorite newborn clothes that my girls wore and its too late. they are too small already to fit my growing susanna.
in a futile fashion i scooped them up and breathed in, but they only smelled like cardboard box. their moments to cuddle newborn skin and get swaddled up have passed. i pulled out the very first piece of newborn clothing i ever bought. in fact it was a gown i bought and gave to kevin to tell him we were pregnant with lily. i found the white footed pajamas made of the softest cotton i've ever felt that lily wore the day we came home from the hospital (once we changed her out of some ridiculous dress). i found the gown covered in moons and stars that eve, my 'little star', wore home from the hospital.
it really isn't about the clothes and contrary to most men's fears, it really isn't even about wanting another child. it is a realization that i have held my last newborn. when i see a pregnant woman with her big round belly, i'll smile in a memory instead of in hopefulness or anticipation. it is a letting go of a whole phase of life that in a lot of ways we are more than happy to see end- but also brought us some of the happiest days of our life.
before you know it i'm going to be the woman in the checkout line at the grocery store asking how old your baby is and saying 'well my baby graduates from high school this year'. of course you have to take this with a grain of salt knowing it is from the girl who cried her eyes out about school ending every year. i've never handled change or 'endings' well.
someone asked me not too long ago, if money were no object how many children would you want to have? my response- as many as i could fit into my house that wanted to be there! i'm not entirely convinced we're done becoming parents but i am quite sure we are done making babies. so with open arms and a happy heart full of the most wonderful memories i will keep packing up the tiniest clothes that my girls surely never were small enough to wear. and i will wait to see what God has for us next.
the sad part is, i am just now getting through the boxes of clothes that were returned to us after being on loan to my sister's twins and there is so much stuff and so little time that i finally found the box of my favorite newborn clothes that my girls wore and its too late. they are too small already to fit my growing susanna.
in a futile fashion i scooped them up and breathed in, but they only smelled like cardboard box. their moments to cuddle newborn skin and get swaddled up have passed. i pulled out the very first piece of newborn clothing i ever bought. in fact it was a gown i bought and gave to kevin to tell him we were pregnant with lily. i found the white footed pajamas made of the softest cotton i've ever felt that lily wore the day we came home from the hospital (once we changed her out of some ridiculous dress). i found the gown covered in moons and stars that eve, my 'little star', wore home from the hospital.
it really isn't about the clothes and contrary to most men's fears, it really isn't even about wanting another child. it is a realization that i have held my last newborn. when i see a pregnant woman with her big round belly, i'll smile in a memory instead of in hopefulness or anticipation. it is a letting go of a whole phase of life that in a lot of ways we are more than happy to see end- but also brought us some of the happiest days of our life.
before you know it i'm going to be the woman in the checkout line at the grocery store asking how old your baby is and saying 'well my baby graduates from high school this year'. of course you have to take this with a grain of salt knowing it is from the girl who cried her eyes out about school ending every year. i've never handled change or 'endings' well.
someone asked me not too long ago, if money were no object how many children would you want to have? my response- as many as i could fit into my house that wanted to be there! i'm not entirely convinced we're done becoming parents but i am quite sure we are done making babies. so with open arms and a happy heart full of the most wonderful memories i will keep packing up the tiniest clothes that my girls surely never were small enough to wear. and i will wait to see what God has for us next.
3.21.2011
the sisterhood of the messy pants (lily) and her mad scientist sister (eve) is progressing along at a beautiful pace.
this week the girls and i made our first trip to dallas to see friends and take advantage of my mom's spring break for some good visiting time. lily and eve shared a room for the first time and actually did way better than i had anticipated. yes, there were moments such as when i found lily poking eve's face saying 'wake uppppp' but those were trumped by listening to eve call out song requests and lily obliging with her out-of-tune toddler voice. all in all it was a big success.
eve hasn't been a big fan of bedtime lately and returning home tonight was no exception. after 5 minutes of her pathetic little 'row row boat?' pleading and whimpers if i made any sort of move towards the door, i asked if she wanted to sleep in lily's room. 'uh HUH uh HUH!!' was her response as she blew past me out the door and across the hall. i brought her mattress and laid it on the floor along with some ground rules for a very excited lily. after i shut the door my heart nearly burst when i heart 'goodnight eve!'.....'ni ni, lil'
i'm sure it will not be without its struggles but to know eve takes so much comfort in her sister's presence and that lily is pleased as punch to share her space makes me happy.
a few pictures from today. the swing set is starting to take shape in the backyard and kevin let them sit on what will soon be a tree house of sorts. just look at those (pudding covered) faces.
this week the girls and i made our first trip to dallas to see friends and take advantage of my mom's spring break for some good visiting time. lily and eve shared a room for the first time and actually did way better than i had anticipated. yes, there were moments such as when i found lily poking eve's face saying 'wake uppppp' but those were trumped by listening to eve call out song requests and lily obliging with her out-of-tune toddler voice. all in all it was a big success.
eve hasn't been a big fan of bedtime lately and returning home tonight was no exception. after 5 minutes of her pathetic little 'row row boat?' pleading and whimpers if i made any sort of move towards the door, i asked if she wanted to sleep in lily's room. 'uh HUH uh HUH!!' was her response as she blew past me out the door and across the hall. i brought her mattress and laid it on the floor along with some ground rules for a very excited lily. after i shut the door my heart nearly burst when i heart 'goodnight eve!'.....'ni ni, lil'
i'm sure it will not be without its struggles but to know eve takes so much comfort in her sister's presence and that lily is pleased as punch to share her space makes me happy.
a few pictures from today. the swing set is starting to take shape in the backyard and kevin let them sit on what will soon be a tree house of sorts. just look at those (pudding covered) faces.
speaking of pudding face
our spectator
and the mad scientist
3.15.2011
beware the ides of march. the best advice caesar ever got and ignored. the ides of march have majorly messed with me in the past as well, so maybe i'm best off staying home today :)
once they introduced me to a 5 year on-again off-again boyfriend whose presence in life i would have been better off without by all counts. last year i got knocked up.
fingers crossed for no life-changers today.
once they introduced me to a 5 year on-again off-again boyfriend whose presence in life i would have been better off without by all counts. last year i got knocked up.
fingers crossed for no life-changers today.
3.13.2011
we headed to the rodeo today! i kid you not, i heard lily shriek with joy at least 30 times and she had a giant smile plastered on her face the entire time. it should also go without saying that she chose her attire for the day about a week ago when i mentioned we would hopefully be attending the rodeo soon.
having kids has been a crazy trip so far, but getting to do 'firsts' with your litte ones really is the icing on the cake. today was lily and eve's first ferris wheel with daddy and their first merry-go-round with me. it was a fabulous day all around.
this weekend we also inherited a killer wooden swing/playset for our backyard via a friend of my sister's and that deserves a whole post of its own. i'll share more once its up in our backyard and i can get some pictures. trust me, you will need pictures to go along with this story.
and speaking of pictures- here are a few from today, more on flikr
having kids has been a crazy trip so far, but getting to do 'firsts' with your litte ones really is the icing on the cake. today was lily and eve's first ferris wheel with daddy and their first merry-go-round with me. it was a fabulous day all around.
this weekend we also inherited a killer wooden swing/playset for our backyard via a friend of my sister's and that deserves a whole post of its own. i'll share more once its up in our backyard and i can get some pictures. trust me, you will need pictures to go along with this story.
and speaking of pictures- here are a few from today, more on flikr
worth. i've been preparing myself to consider worth this week during lent and its blowing my mind a little bit.
for my own reasons, not through the prompting of the lent study, i also decided to cut out social internet use for these 40 days. i was on my way to meet my friend bonnie for dinner and started thinking about the past few days of not updating facebook. there have been several hilarious lily-isms, eve continues to blow my mind daily with her verbal explosion, and there are always cute pictures of my brood that i want to easily share.
i've either kept all of these things to myself, called a friend or family member to tell the tale, or sent an email with a shareworthy snapshot. but what struck me tonight was the thought that normally i think these everyday happenings are not only important to me, but in some way should be relevant or important to others. when really, there are so many more relevant or important things i would rather my friends consider other than my witty comment about child rearing.
fast forward to contemplating my lent story today and the subsequent suggestions on what to sacrifice this week. i read a few of them and thought 'but i'm nursing a baby! i can't nurse a baby and fast.' or 'but i'm barely getting any sleep as it is, i can't go without my pillow this week' and then i realized how much resistance i have created against the idea of being uncomfortable. as if worldly comfort is the ultimate goal.
so i sit here wondering at 5am (thanks to annie) why do i care what 600 facebook friends think about me? i should find my worth not in their valuation of me but in the simple fact that i am God's child. why do i think i will not survive for a week without everyday luxuries like pillows or socks? how ridiculous that the idea of being without such trivial items is such a shocking concept.
this turned into mostly rambling, but so far lent is kicking my butt.
for my own reasons, not through the prompting of the lent study, i also decided to cut out social internet use for these 40 days. i was on my way to meet my friend bonnie for dinner and started thinking about the past few days of not updating facebook. there have been several hilarious lily-isms, eve continues to blow my mind daily with her verbal explosion, and there are always cute pictures of my brood that i want to easily share.
i've either kept all of these things to myself, called a friend or family member to tell the tale, or sent an email with a shareworthy snapshot. but what struck me tonight was the thought that normally i think these everyday happenings are not only important to me, but in some way should be relevant or important to others. when really, there are so many more relevant or important things i would rather my friends consider other than my witty comment about child rearing.
fast forward to contemplating my lent story today and the subsequent suggestions on what to sacrifice this week. i read a few of them and thought 'but i'm nursing a baby! i can't nurse a baby and fast.' or 'but i'm barely getting any sleep as it is, i can't go without my pillow this week' and then i realized how much resistance i have created against the idea of being uncomfortable. as if worldly comfort is the ultimate goal.
so i sit here wondering at 5am (thanks to annie) why do i care what 600 facebook friends think about me? i should find my worth not in their valuation of me but in the simple fact that i am God's child. why do i think i will not survive for a week without everyday luxuries like pillows or socks? how ridiculous that the idea of being without such trivial items is such a shocking concept.
this turned into mostly rambling, but so far lent is kicking my butt.
3.10.2011
bless my children for putting up with my shenanigans.
i may or may not have attempted an 'american gothic' with them during annie's nap...
and sadly this is the best we could do.
i may or may not have attempted an 'american gothic' with them during annie's nap...
and sadly this is the best we could do.you can't even see eve's overalls. and every time i told lily to make a grumpy face eve busted out a furrowed brow as well. i'm sure it was entertaining for the people at the park overhearing my art direction of a not-quite-two-year-old.
and for a good laugh- some outtakes...
and for a good laugh- some outtakes...
3.09.2011
Ash Wednesday : A Franciscan Blessing
May God bless you with discomfort. Discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. Amen
May God bless you with anger. Anger at injustice, oppression and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace. Amen
May God bless you with tears. Tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain into joy. Amen
May God bless you with foolishness. Enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done. Amen
And the blessing of God, who creates, redeems and sanctifies, be upon you and all you love and pray for this day, and forever more. Amen
Join me in daily reflection this lent HERE
3.02.2011
this morning i found a blackened piece of what was supposed to be toast in the oven. it was being broiled within an inch of recognition about half an hour after the girls finished breakfast (sans toast). momnesia claims another victim.
in sunnier news, the ice cream truck made its first appearance of the season today. we live on a park and are lucky that the truck comes by a few times a week whenever its warm outside. maybe i'm just nostalgic, but there's something about a drippy bombpop that just feels like childhood.
my girls were tortured as it spent about 20 minutes on the other side of the park fulfilling children's requests (and one pajama clad woman i can only guess was home sick). i wouldn't let them run across the park without me and annie was asleep inside the house. i had to promise to lily about 30 times that he wouldn't drive off without coming by our house and we flagged him down successfully!
as middle and eldest enjoyed their strawberry sno cones, tiny slept soundly inside and i started to look forward to summer even more.
in sunnier news, the ice cream truck made its first appearance of the season today. we live on a park and are lucky that the truck comes by a few times a week whenever its warm outside. maybe i'm just nostalgic, but there's something about a drippy bombpop that just feels like childhood.
my girls were tortured as it spent about 20 minutes on the other side of the park fulfilling children's requests (and one pajama clad woman i can only guess was home sick). i wouldn't let them run across the park without me and annie was asleep inside the house. i had to promise to lily about 30 times that he wouldn't drive off without coming by our house and we flagged him down successfully!
as middle and eldest enjoyed their strawberry sno cones, tiny slept soundly inside and i started to look forward to summer even more.
2.28.2011
Lily pretends
our first time playing 'birthday party'
lily is a big fan of make believe... especially when she's the center of attention :)
lily is a big fan of make believe... especially when she's the center of attention :)
2.22.2011
workout time at my house has become a fruitful breeding ground for folly lately. babies crying, lily doing yoga with me, you just never know what will happen while i workout in front of the tv.
you see, i still have 3 more weeks until i can take annie to childcare at the gym (i am genuinely counting down the days) and since the elastic on my maternity pants seems to be all that can handle my post baby girth right now, i have taken things into my own hands with a mixture of p90x & insanity with a little 'couch to 5k' thrown in for good measure.
today i did my p90x kenpo (fancy word for kickboxing) video and managed to back-kick over a kitchen chair and punch myself in the chin.
those are the moments i am happy to be dealing with these lbs in the privacy of my own home. hopefully by the time i make it to the gym i will have regained a little of my pre-baby coordination?
you see, i still have 3 more weeks until i can take annie to childcare at the gym (i am genuinely counting down the days) and since the elastic on my maternity pants seems to be all that can handle my post baby girth right now, i have taken things into my own hands with a mixture of p90x & insanity with a little 'couch to 5k' thrown in for good measure.
today i did my p90x kenpo (fancy word for kickboxing) video and managed to back-kick over a kitchen chair and punch myself in the chin.
those are the moments i am happy to be dealing with these lbs in the privacy of my own home. hopefully by the time i make it to the gym i will have regained a little of my pre-baby coordination?
2.20.2011
annie will grow up either loving or hating 'smooth criminal'. judging by the number of adaptations we've come up with today alone, i'm guessing it will be the latter.
versions today included:
annie are you poopy? are you poopy...are you poopy, annie?
annie are you smiling? are you smiling...at your mommy, annie?
annie where's your swaddle? your swaddle...where's your swaddle, annie?
on one hand i would feel genuinely terrible keeping her from what could be a true love of all things michael jackson, but on the other hand i could be preventing her from getting into a lot of trouble with her mama's p.y.t. dance from college. its really a toss up.
versions today included:
annie are you poopy? are you poopy...are you poopy, annie?
annie are you smiling? are you smiling...at your mommy, annie?
annie where's your swaddle? your swaddle...where's your swaddle, annie?
on one hand i would feel genuinely terrible keeping her from what could be a true love of all things michael jackson, but on the other hand i could be preventing her from getting into a lot of trouble with her mama's p.y.t. dance from college. its really a toss up.
2.18.2011
parenting and becoming a mom, especially of a preschooler, has taught me to see things differently in more ways than i can enumerate.
while you may see a front yard constantly cluttered with random balls, pillows, and a bat- i see a house where my girls spend nearly every afternoon gallivanting around the yard waiting to see who can spot daddy's car first as he rounds the corner home at the end of the day.
while you may see a child wearing a disaster of an outfit and wonder if she realizes her shoes are on the wrong feet- i see a little girl whose budding personality drives her to seek out all things 'dark pink', that proudly dresses herself the minute she wakes up in the morning, and has mastered putting on her shoes all by herself.
while you may see a mother irresponsibly using treats as a bribe- i recognize a mom doing her best to make it through the grocery store with three babes who knows the power of a doughnut.
while you may see a lady with random stains on her shirt and a messy ponytail- i see a mom who has been able to let go of perfection and who knows her children only look for her smile to warm them, eyes to comfort them, and hand to hold onto no matter what she is wearing.
while you may see me and think i'm keeping it all together- i know how fragile our peace really is and how much i appreciate every day we make it through with laughter and hugs.
i've never been more happy to be given a new perspective on it all. and never more thankful for the 'under 4 feet' crowd who is determined to keep me young, silly, and seeing things their way.
while you may see a front yard constantly cluttered with random balls, pillows, and a bat- i see a house where my girls spend nearly every afternoon gallivanting around the yard waiting to see who can spot daddy's car first as he rounds the corner home at the end of the day.
while you may see a child wearing a disaster of an outfit and wonder if she realizes her shoes are on the wrong feet- i see a little girl whose budding personality drives her to seek out all things 'dark pink', that proudly dresses herself the minute she wakes up in the morning, and has mastered putting on her shoes all by herself.
while you may see a mother irresponsibly using treats as a bribe- i recognize a mom doing her best to make it through the grocery store with three babes who knows the power of a doughnut.
while you may see a lady with random stains on her shirt and a messy ponytail- i see a mom who has been able to let go of perfection and who knows her children only look for her smile to warm them, eyes to comfort them, and hand to hold onto no matter what she is wearing.
while you may see me and think i'm keeping it all together- i know how fragile our peace really is and how much i appreciate every day we make it through with laughter and hugs.
i've never been more happy to be given a new perspective on it all. and never more thankful for the 'under 4 feet' crowd who is determined to keep me young, silly, and seeing things their way.
2.14.2011
2.13.2011
lily is my little buddy. i think there are moments when we both miss the days when we could just focus on each other. i had a bit of an overwhelming day today and after kevin bathed the girls and she was in her nightgown i just decided lily and i needed some time together.
i asked her to go on a treasure hunt with me and she immediately yelled 'YES!' and grabbed a bowl (to carry all of the treasures in of course)
while she grabbed the bowl, i grabbed my camera.
a few pics- click to see them bigger
she jumped right in to the spirit of the walk- even dubbing a part of the journey an 'enchanted forest' where we weren't allowed to talk. i am so happy that the days are getting longer and the weather has warmed up. we both needed this. big time.
i asked her to go on a treasure hunt with me and she immediately yelled 'YES!' and grabbed a bowl (to carry all of the treasures in of course)
while she grabbed the bowl, i grabbed my camera.
a few pics- click to see them bigger
she jumped right in to the spirit of the walk- even dubbing a part of the journey an 'enchanted forest' where we weren't allowed to talk. i am so happy that the days are getting longer and the weather has warmed up. we both needed this. big time.
every day i am one step farther away from having babies. every day it makes me just a little bit sad knowing this phase of life is so brief and is only getting shorter.
and yet every day i look forward to it all the same.
i'm having one of those days when i just need an extra breath of fresh air. thankfully its going to be in the 70s all week. i foresee lots of time spent outside. please cooperate, miss annie. mama needs a decent night of sleep (ie. longer than an hour and a half at a time) and some time with the warmth of the sun on my face.
its hard to be a light when you feel like your flame keeps getting blown out.
and yet every day i look forward to it all the same.
i'm having one of those days when i just need an extra breath of fresh air. thankfully its going to be in the 70s all week. i foresee lots of time spent outside. please cooperate, miss annie. mama needs a decent night of sleep (ie. longer than an hour and a half at a time) and some time with the warmth of the sun on my face.
its hard to be a light when you feel like your flame keeps getting blown out.
2.07.2011
want to win some really gorgeous jewelry for yourself (or someone you love) that supports a fabulous cause AND provides a fair wage to the artisans that create it? jump over to my photo blog for details & enter the giveaway.
no matter what, definitely bookmark the noonday collection for future gift giving and retail therapy :)
no matter what, definitely bookmark the noonday collection for future gift giving and retail therapy :)
2.06.2011
snow dayyyy!!! what a treat for my born and bred texas gals to wake up to a dusting of snow. it was just enough to make a few snowballs & run around in our brief version of a winter wonderland. they really loved it!
more pics HERE.
more pics HERE.
2.02.2011
1.28.2011
1.27.2011
i keep getting questions about the change in my camera bag from canon to nikon. i wish i had a great reason for the change, but in the end it was primarily fueled by curiosity, theft, and a tinge of boredom.
here's the whole story. my camera bag was stolen in november out of my car. it had two cameras, two lights, and four lenses in it along with various batteries, memory cards, and sundry items. all in all we are talking over ten thousand dollars. ouch, right? surprisingly i shed very few tears over the situation though i did let a few fall the night it happened out of frustration.
after a lovely round of phone calls to my insurance company, the majority of it was covered and i was faced with the dubious task of rebuilding the entirety of my equipment even down to the camera bag itself.
lots of canon faithfuls are jumping ship to nikon these days due to focus issues and i wasn't sure i'd love nikon but i gave it a shot. i still didn't LOVE it but i was impressed with the focus. i mean those suckers are sharp and consistent. i didn't (and still don't) love the color, but that is a learning and adjustment process.
when it came down to it, i made spreadsheets of cost comparison, i tried out a friend's d700 and ordered both from amazon for some comparison as well. i kept the nikon. i still miss my canon sometimes.
as for the boredom, i was 'diagnosed' in college with something called 'too many aptitudes' meaning essentially that new skills in general come too easily to me, which lends itself to me enjoying new projects but then dropping interest quickly when i try something else, and never feeling challenged enough to really dig deep into most subjects. basically its a jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none syndrome... so i figured maybe switching to nikon would re-ignite a bit of a challenge on the photography front.
so when you get down to brass tacks, there wasn't much of a reason and i still love that beautiful canon glass. i'm enjoying my new equipment and am looking forward to getting to know it better this spring when i start working again.
here's the whole story. my camera bag was stolen in november out of my car. it had two cameras, two lights, and four lenses in it along with various batteries, memory cards, and sundry items. all in all we are talking over ten thousand dollars. ouch, right? surprisingly i shed very few tears over the situation though i did let a few fall the night it happened out of frustration.
after a lovely round of phone calls to my insurance company, the majority of it was covered and i was faced with the dubious task of rebuilding the entirety of my equipment even down to the camera bag itself.
lots of canon faithfuls are jumping ship to nikon these days due to focus issues and i wasn't sure i'd love nikon but i gave it a shot. i still didn't LOVE it but i was impressed with the focus. i mean those suckers are sharp and consistent. i didn't (and still don't) love the color, but that is a learning and adjustment process.
when it came down to it, i made spreadsheets of cost comparison, i tried out a friend's d700 and ordered both from amazon for some comparison as well. i kept the nikon. i still miss my canon sometimes.
as for the boredom, i was 'diagnosed' in college with something called 'too many aptitudes' meaning essentially that new skills in general come too easily to me, which lends itself to me enjoying new projects but then dropping interest quickly when i try something else, and never feeling challenged enough to really dig deep into most subjects. basically its a jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none syndrome... so i figured maybe switching to nikon would re-ignite a bit of a challenge on the photography front.
so when you get down to brass tacks, there wasn't much of a reason and i still love that beautiful canon glass. i'm enjoying my new equipment and am looking forward to getting to know it better this spring when i start working again.
1.25.2011
in case anyone was wondering when the 'princess' phase hits, in our experience it was right around 3 1/2. i just watched the entirety of 'beauty and the beast' with a little girl wearing a sparkly gown, glitter shoes, and a felt crown who insisted on having her hair bow changed to match the current color of belle's gown throughout the movie. thankfully she really only wears three colors...
in fact while typing this i just heard lily say 'okay eve, you're the wolf. chase me and my prince will come save me'
i'm not sure if this whole thing makes my head hurt or if i'm amused. i definitely love seeing how excited she gets about it. the other day kevin asked if she was going to grow up to be a doctor or a lawyer (don't get me started on his choice of options) and her response was 'daddy! i'm going to grow up to be a princess!'
she wasn't too fond of me when i told her that we don't really get to be princesses. i guess she has kate middleton on her side of the argument, but goodness i just wanted to give the poor child a dose of perspective! :)
in fact while typing this i just heard lily say 'okay eve, you're the wolf. chase me and my prince will come save me'
i'm not sure if this whole thing makes my head hurt or if i'm amused. i definitely love seeing how excited she gets about it. the other day kevin asked if she was going to grow up to be a doctor or a lawyer (don't get me started on his choice of options) and her response was 'daddy! i'm going to grow up to be a princess!'
she wasn't too fond of me when i told her that we don't really get to be princesses. i guess she has kate middleton on her side of the argument, but goodness i just wanted to give the poor child a dose of perspective! :)
1.24.2011
1.22.2011
three. also known as 'what were we thinking'.
in all seriousness, while i am totally and completely enamored with my newest bundle, her presence sure has rocked our previously smooth sailing boat. how could 9 pounds cause so much upheaval in our house?
i'm in the thick of it and i'm trying to keep perspective. my hormones are all over the place, which causes molehills to appear more like mountains. knowing this unfortunately does nothing to dissipate the rollercoaster emotions that result from something silly like being interrupted in the middle of a workout video by a crying child.
everyone tells you to 'rest when the baby rests' which is unfortunately when my other two children are awake since she apparently prefers sleeping during the day. everyone also says 'don't worry about housework or laundry' but then i wonder, who exactly is going to do it if i don't? not to mention that clutter and piles of laundry pretty much give me hives. just seeing them around pushes my stress level up a few notches.
so while i'm not trying to be superwoman, would it be too much to ask to not feel like a big slob who can't get anything done? seriously just now typing this i think i fell asleep after writing that last sentence. i wish i was kidding. that is how tired i am.
so pardon me while i attempt to draw a close to this pity party of one. i'm looking forward to warmer sunnier days when i (hopefully) have a little more of this under my wing and under control. maybe then i'll feel a little more like myself!
in all seriousness, while i am totally and completely enamored with my newest bundle, her presence sure has rocked our previously smooth sailing boat. how could 9 pounds cause so much upheaval in our house?
i'm in the thick of it and i'm trying to keep perspective. my hormones are all over the place, which causes molehills to appear more like mountains. knowing this unfortunately does nothing to dissipate the rollercoaster emotions that result from something silly like being interrupted in the middle of a workout video by a crying child.
everyone tells you to 'rest when the baby rests' which is unfortunately when my other two children are awake since she apparently prefers sleeping during the day. everyone also says 'don't worry about housework or laundry' but then i wonder, who exactly is going to do it if i don't? not to mention that clutter and piles of laundry pretty much give me hives. just seeing them around pushes my stress level up a few notches.
so while i'm not trying to be superwoman, would it be too much to ask to not feel like a big slob who can't get anything done? seriously just now typing this i think i fell asleep after writing that last sentence. i wish i was kidding. that is how tired i am.
so pardon me while i attempt to draw a close to this pity party of one. i'm looking forward to warmer sunnier days when i (hopefully) have a little more of this under my wing and under control. maybe then i'll feel a little more like myself!
1.20.2011
i read this...
"it is not scientific doubt, not atheism, not pantheism, not agnosticism that in our day and in this land is likely to quench the light of the gospel. It is proud, sensuous, selfish, luxurious, church-going, hollow-hearted prosperity." -frederick huntington
it hit me solidly. but when i checked the note for its origin it hit me again. it was written in 1890.
"it is not scientific doubt, not atheism, not pantheism, not agnosticism that in our day and in this land is likely to quench the light of the gospel. It is proud, sensuous, selfish, luxurious, church-going, hollow-hearted prosperity." -frederick huntington
it hit me solidly. but when i checked the note for its origin it hit me again. it was written in 1890.
1.17.2011
she's getting too smart for her own good. we were sitting in mighty fine on sunday and lily asked "do they have dessert here?" i said "nope!"
kevin eyed me and said "you know they have m-i-l-k-s-h-a-k-e-s". i said, "of course i do, we're not getting one"
lily sat quietly for about half a second and then pointed at a sign and said "uh huh mommy, there's a brown cow picture, that means they have ice cream here!"
darn you and your recognizable sign, bluebell!!
kevin eyed me and said "you know they have m-i-l-k-s-h-a-k-e-s". i said, "of course i do, we're not getting one"
lily sat quietly for about half a second and then pointed at a sign and said "uh huh mommy, there's a brown cow picture, that means they have ice cream here!"
darn you and your recognizable sign, bluebell!!
1.16.2011
1.12.2011
i'm thinking of writing up a quick resume for susanna. i think i could charge a pretty penny for her talents. perhaps a rogue government agency or terrorist group might be interested in her skill set...
Susanna Kathleen
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
Objective: To aid in the discovery of factual information or implementation of torture by means of my unique methods
Education: School of life, 4 weeks
Work History: Internship with parents, Dec 2010 - present
- Ability to lure adults into a false sense of security and accomplishment
- Track record of successfully identifying the moment a target falls asleep in order to wake them immediately
- High levels of charm to maintain favor with target upon interrupting sleep_________________________________________
1.10.2011
Lily's story
lily making up stories (while dressed in poodle skirt, pearls and a crown)
just wait for the end... she cracks me up
1.07.2011
i often lament that my life feels like a gerbil wheel. life seems to be just about maintaining our own life 90% of the time and that rare moment that i get out of my small circle and impact someone else or feel i am genuinely serving is so precious. the 90% can be mind numbing and feel soul crushing. it can feel selfish and pretentious.
last night at small group there was a guy who clearly had a sharing heart that read to us from a chapter that is entirely familiar and that i started reciting in my head as he spoke. but then it spoke to me and i realized it was an encouragement to me where i am right now. a mom at home with her kids spending her days doing laundry and emptying a dishwasher.
while not an earth shattering discovery, it is comforting to me in a lot of ways. giving myself permission to say that i have difficulty not growing weary or losing heart helps me to realize that the place to go to renew my perseverence is in jesus, no matter how trivial my race may seem to some. it feels good to acknowledge that simply raising children, loving them with my whole self and helping them to develop is quite the exhausting race.
we finished our small group workbook last night and the epilogue had this lovely benediction of sorts from the author that we all thought summed up the book quite nicely:
last night at small group there was a guy who clearly had a sharing heart that read to us from a chapter that is entirely familiar and that i started reciting in my head as he spoke. but then it spoke to me and i realized it was an encouragement to me where i am right now. a mom at home with her kids spending her days doing laundry and emptying a dishwasher.
let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
hebrews 12:1-2
when he said 'the race set before you' it struck me that THIS is my race. this life is what has been set before me right now. this is a temporary phase in life where small children demand my attention at all times and changing diapers is an immediate need. this too will pass, new challenges will surface and the race before me will change courses- it might look very different from this one, or it might not. but i haven't been asked to chart a different course, i'm being asked to run this race patiently and diligently with my ultimate focus on jesus.
while not an earth shattering discovery, it is comforting to me in a lot of ways. giving myself permission to say that i have difficulty not growing weary or losing heart helps me to realize that the place to go to renew my perseverence is in jesus, no matter how trivial my race may seem to some. it feels good to acknowledge that simply raising children, loving them with my whole self and helping them to develop is quite the exhausting race.
we finished our small group workbook last night and the epilogue had this lovely benediction of sorts from the author that we all thought summed up the book quite nicely:
to you, my fellow traveler, may God explode your heart with gratefulness for salvation, with anger over injustice, with love for the loveless, with selfless hours of service, with words that bring hope, and homes that bring warmth. may christ be in the food you serve; may he interrupt your schedule with moments that change the destiny of families; may his purposes become your purposes; and may the things that break his heart break yours. may he supply to you all that is needed to live large in the kingdom that is now and yet to come, and may we someday meet along a heavenly riverbank and meet each others' friends that now know the king of glory because of you.
next on the agenda is 'crazy love' by francis chan.
1.04.2011
two days worth of bonnie's posts of my wonderful susanna are on her blog at bonni-berry.com/blog.
i'm a big fan. of bonnie's and my girls.
i'm a big fan. of bonnie's and my girls.
1.02.2011
in an effort to motivate myself in the new year and post pregnancy healthy eating i dug out my copy of 'eat to live' and was reading parts of it aloud to kevin. when i said....
"look, it says that one study showed that those who ate vegetarian for more than half their life lived on average 13 years longer than meat eating counterparts.... wow. that's crazy. i'm not sure i want to live that long honestly!"
i love me some veggies and i'm going on 6 years now but seriously, living thirteen years longer on average?? i'm not sure i can handle being that old.
"look, it says that one study showed that those who ate vegetarian for more than half their life lived on average 13 years longer than meat eating counterparts.... wow. that's crazy. i'm not sure i want to live that long honestly!"
i love me some veggies and i'm going on 6 years now but seriously, living thirteen years longer on average?? i'm not sure i can handle being that old.
1.01.2011
new year. fresh start. resolutions just like years past that will be selfishly forgotten, abandoned or surrendered in a month or so. but its a great excuse for popping open a bottle of champagne and forcing my children to eat black eyed peas.
last night was the first attempt at having susanna sleep in her bed in our room instead of in OUR bed with us. she put up with it for the first stretch of sleep but after waking to nurse at 1am i put her in her bed and she cried. i quickly gave up and pulled her back into her spot with us and she was out like a light. it was quite an endearing moment in the middle of the night and i just laid next to her stroking her soft little head that fits in the palm of my hand thinking to myself 'thanks for loving me already'. waking up next to her was a sweet way to start 2011.
happy new year! i hope yours brings more joy than you could imagine and teaches you more than you think you are ready for.
last night was the first attempt at having susanna sleep in her bed in our room instead of in OUR bed with us. she put up with it for the first stretch of sleep but after waking to nurse at 1am i put her in her bed and she cried. i quickly gave up and pulled her back into her spot with us and she was out like a light. it was quite an endearing moment in the middle of the night and i just laid next to her stroking her soft little head that fits in the palm of my hand thinking to myself 'thanks for loving me already'. waking up next to her was a sweet way to start 2011.
happy new year! i hope yours brings more joy than you could imagine and teaches you more than you think you are ready for.
12.29.2010
we are still alive and kicking over here. just making it through the week (and really, of ALL weeks for the girls to not have mom's day out this is not the one i would have chosen!!). happy tomorrow is thursday and even happier that the weekend is almost here!
pics of my three girls- the sisters -on the photo blog HERE :)
pics of my three girls- the sisters -on the photo blog HERE :)
12.21.2010
thanks to a post by my friend neely on facebook, we were tipped off to crazy pete's trail of lights just down the street from our house. kevin's dad came into town to spend a few days with us and we decided since it was such a beautiful night out that we'd go check out the scene. the girls loved it! eve cried 'more lights! more lights!' the whole way home and lily wants to take her cousins to go see it when they come into town for christmas.
for me it was just nice to get outside and get some fresh air and enjoy seeing the delight on lily and eve's faces as they took in the display.
for me it was just nice to get outside and get some fresh air and enjoy seeing the delight on lily and eve's faces as they took in the display.
me and my girls
12.19.2010
i'm still alive... barely.
no, i kid, i kid. seriously though, as though its a welcome wagon back to the world of newborns, mastitis paid me its third visit today. third kid, third round of antibiotics. breastfeeding and i just really have a love hate relationship.
my mom has been here all week and i'd be lying if i said i thought we would have made it through without her. okay, maybe we would have made it through but with much more fast food meals and no one would have a stitch of clean clothing on. as it stands we ate home cooked meals and i'm not sure there is a dirty linen to be found in this house (save the swaddle blanket miss annie just spit up on).
it is time for her to go home. back to my dad, to prepare for christmas, and eventually after the holidays back to work. its so hard for me when she leaves. every time i fall apart. why is that? surely by now i know that once she is gone i WILL be okay. life might not be quite so easy but it will indeed go on and eventually become our new norm. so why the tears? (to be honest, the crying has already begun and she's not leaving for 12 hours)
i can't explain it. i just mourn her leaving and having to regain my status as 'the mom' in the house. when she is here, she is the queen. she seems to get it all done without complaint, without losing her temper, and with such grace. so basically the opposite of how i operate :)
i remember the morning my mom left me home alone with lily. she was about 10 days old and i was terrified. mom walked out the door and i sat on the floor in my foyer and just cried holding this tiny baby thinking 'how can i be responsible for this child?? my mom is gone!' and i turned around and there was a note waiting for me. of course my mom who does it all, also thought to leave me a sweet note. i read it crying and got up and told lily i hope one day, even at nearly 30, she still thinks life is better with me around.
she's leaving tomorrow morning. i can do this.
no, i kid, i kid. seriously though, as though its a welcome wagon back to the world of newborns, mastitis paid me its third visit today. third kid, third round of antibiotics. breastfeeding and i just really have a love hate relationship.
my mom has been here all week and i'd be lying if i said i thought we would have made it through without her. okay, maybe we would have made it through but with much more fast food meals and no one would have a stitch of clean clothing on. as it stands we ate home cooked meals and i'm not sure there is a dirty linen to be found in this house (save the swaddle blanket miss annie just spit up on).
it is time for her to go home. back to my dad, to prepare for christmas, and eventually after the holidays back to work. its so hard for me when she leaves. every time i fall apart. why is that? surely by now i know that once she is gone i WILL be okay. life might not be quite so easy but it will indeed go on and eventually become our new norm. so why the tears? (to be honest, the crying has already begun and she's not leaving for 12 hours)
i can't explain it. i just mourn her leaving and having to regain my status as 'the mom' in the house. when she is here, she is the queen. she seems to get it all done without complaint, without losing her temper, and with such grace. so basically the opposite of how i operate :)
i remember the morning my mom left me home alone with lily. she was about 10 days old and i was terrified. mom walked out the door and i sat on the floor in my foyer and just cried holding this tiny baby thinking 'how can i be responsible for this child?? my mom is gone!' and i turned around and there was a note waiting for me. of course my mom who does it all, also thought to leave me a sweet note. i read it crying and got up and told lily i hope one day, even at nearly 30, she still thinks life is better with me around.
she's leaving tomorrow morning. i can do this.
12.13.2010
susanna kathleen- our little annie.
we were at a loss when it came to naming our third girl. having already used family names for our first and second, we felt like we'd just plain run out of decent ideas (seeing as 'esther irene' isn't really our speed).
we tossed a LOT of names around. a whole lot. kevin has surprisingly strong opinions about baby names and did his fair share of veto'ing.
just a week or two before her birth i mentioned the nickname 'annie' and kevin was hooked. he then set out to come up with the perfect formal name for his girl that i could get on board with. (all of our girls have longer given names with nicknames) we considered a bunch and were out on a date saturday night and when 'susanna' was thrown out, we both liked it... a lot.
then i looked up it's meaning. ' It is derived from Σουσάννα (Sousanna), the Greek form of the Hebrew ×©×•×©× ×” Shoshannah, which is derived from the Persian شوشان shoshan meaning lily, true beauty'. THEN we realized, our first date was at a restaurant called 'suzi's'. it just seemed to fit and when she was born kevin held her for the first time and confirmed 'yep, she's a susanna'.
so our dangerously close to unnamed child ended up with an adorably sweet name that feels just perfect for her, fits with lily and eve and has a sweet story to boot!
we love you, annie!
we were at a loss when it came to naming our third girl. having already used family names for our first and second, we felt like we'd just plain run out of decent ideas (seeing as 'esther irene' isn't really our speed).
we tossed a LOT of names around. a whole lot. kevin has surprisingly strong opinions about baby names and did his fair share of veto'ing.
just a week or two before her birth i mentioned the nickname 'annie' and kevin was hooked. he then set out to come up with the perfect formal name for his girl that i could get on board with. (all of our girls have longer given names with nicknames) we considered a bunch and were out on a date saturday night and when 'susanna' was thrown out, we both liked it... a lot.
then i looked up it's meaning. ' It is derived from Σουσάννα (Sousanna), the Greek form of the Hebrew ×©×•×©× ×” Shoshannah, which is derived from the Persian شوشان shoshan meaning lily, true beauty'. THEN we realized, our first date was at a restaurant called 'suzi's'. it just seemed to fit and when she was born kevin held her for the first time and confirmed 'yep, she's a susanna'.
so our dangerously close to unnamed child ended up with an adorably sweet name that feels just perfect for her, fits with lily and eve and has a sweet story to boot!
we love you, annie!
12.12.2010
lily wanted me to take her up for naps today. she asked if i could hold her hand 'all the way up the stairs to her room'.
eve needed to be held in the middle of her nap today. i rocked her until i felt her breath grow steady and her fingers dropped out of her mouth.
tomorrow we all get to meet the littlest member of our family. there's so much love in those sweet girls' hearts- what a lucky baby sister.
eve needed to be held in the middle of her nap today. i rocked her until i felt her breath grow steady and her fingers dropped out of her mouth.
tomorrow we all get to meet the littlest member of our family. there's so much love in those sweet girls' hearts- what a lucky baby sister.
12.11.2010
ch-ch-ch-ch chaaaaanges! turn and face the strain... oh david bowie your wisdom astounds me (with the exception of space oddity... seriously what was that all about??)
my last two days as a mom of two are officially underway and the to-do list the length of my arm is keeping me distracted. kevin and i are going on a date tonight for just one more chance to sit and talk to each other before life gets turned upside down again.
some say that going to three was easier than going to two, some tell me that their third 'sunk their battleship' and it remains to be seen what our experience will be, but in the very least we are in this together! together with two amazing girls who are anxiously awaiting their baby sister's arrival. baby sister that also remains unnamed, unless you ask lily, in which case she will tell you that we are naming her 'pluukey'.
for now i am just going to keep moving, doing laundry, packing a hospital bag, wrapping christmas presents and not get too emotional. i'll leave that freakout for sunday night :)
my last two days as a mom of two are officially underway and the to-do list the length of my arm is keeping me distracted. kevin and i are going on a date tonight for just one more chance to sit and talk to each other before life gets turned upside down again.
some say that going to three was easier than going to two, some tell me that their third 'sunk their battleship' and it remains to be seen what our experience will be, but in the very least we are in this together! together with two amazing girls who are anxiously awaiting their baby sister's arrival. baby sister that also remains unnamed, unless you ask lily, in which case she will tell you that we are naming her 'pluukey'.
for now i am just going to keep moving, doing laundry, packing a hospital bag, wrapping christmas presents and not get too emotional. i'll leave that freakout for sunday night :)
12.10.2010
it has begun. i started crying this morning about my sweet eve being a big sister in two days. my cuddle monster who lights up my life every single morning when i walk into her room just has no idea what is going on.
i just want to rock her all day long and whisper in her ear 'you'll always be my baby... no matter what. i'll never let you be the 'forgotten' middle child.'
gah. tears.
i just want to rock her all day long and whisper in her ear 'you'll always be my baby... no matter what. i'll never let you be the 'forgotten' middle child.'
gah. tears.
12.08.2010
let me set the stage. ruby and tess' first birthday party. lovely cookies & milk theme, lots of friends and family celebrating. ruby and tess starting to get a tad tired...
i walk by tess in the kitchen being held by my sister's best friend and it happens. she reaches her arms out for ME and lunges in my direction. SWEET VICTORY!! tess loves me!!! tess knows who her aunt mollie is and wants ME to hold her when she is overwhelmed.
it happened two other times during the party, once even when being held by her GaGa (my mom). i mean i don't want to brag or anything, but tess thinks i'm pretty darn cool. :) what a great moment for an aunt!!
and just in case you haven't ventured over to the photo blog- please go see their adorable cake smash and birthday pictures. i know i am biased but there is some serious cuteness going on over there :) http://www.bloomaustin.com/blog/
i walk by tess in the kitchen being held by my sister's best friend and it happens. she reaches her arms out for ME and lunges in my direction. SWEET VICTORY!! tess loves me!!! tess knows who her aunt mollie is and wants ME to hold her when she is overwhelmed.
it happened two other times during the party, once even when being held by her GaGa (my mom). i mean i don't want to brag or anything, but tess thinks i'm pretty darn cool. :) what a great moment for an aunt!!
and just in case you haven't ventured over to the photo blog- please go see their adorable cake smash and birthday pictures. i know i am biased but there is some serious cuteness going on over there :) http://www.bloomaustin.com/blog/
11.26.2010
Baby 3
baby girl is getting so big i can see her breathing! at least i think that's her breathing...
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