spring forward.

seriously. i can't remember a spring when not only i, but so many of my friends and family were springing forward. new jobs, new babies, new engagements, and soon...a new marriage.

its been quite the leap.

now i'm off to run a 10k : )

even after an evening of unloading all of my boxes into the empty new house, it still doesn't seem any more "real". it just hasn't hit me yet.

signs you're in love:

1- you dont get mad when someone calls your boxes upon boxes of treasured belongings "all of your crap"
2- when passing your new roommate with your hands full of heavy kitchen gear, he slaps you on the butt
3- every single time you pass him, he slaps you on the butt and despite yourself, you laugh
4- you think his obsessive need to pack every square inch of his car with boxes, bags, and loose items until literally bursting is kinda cute
5- you toast to your new house by 'clinking' pizza slices while sitting on the floor in an empty room- and you consider it romantic

we'll we're movin on uuuuuup!! (but not to the east side)

today we get the keys to the house where kevin and i will begin our married years. i have the distinct feeling that this whole transition is going to feel much more real very soon...

my mind is playing cruel tricks on me...

i had a dream last night that my mom called me to say how insightful and interesting my last blog posting was and we had a political conversation where she was actually not only agreeing with me, but commending me for being thoughtful about my beliefs.

i actually drove to the Y this morning thinking, "man that was awesome." until i realized it was a dream... dammit.

in other news, i'm temporarily walking like an 85-year old. i did spin class at lunch on tuesday and then my running class that night was a hill run and my calves have felt like they are bleeding and crying at the same time for over 24 hours. fun.

(this one's a little long winded, but it has great quotes in it)

i started reading c.s. lewis' mere christianity on my plane ride to seattle on tuesday. i'm about 2/3 of the way through and already i think i've underlined about half of the book. i read this portion today on my flight home and couldn't help but think of how applicable his political views are today, over 60 years later...

"how far aught christians try to force their views on marriage on the rest of the community by embodying them in divorce laws? a great many people seem to think that if you are a christian yourself you should try to make divorce difficult for everyone. i dont think that. churches should frankly recognize that the majority of the british people are not christians and, therefore, cannot be expected to live christian lives."

i can think of at least 3 or 4 current political topics that you could subsitute into that sentiment in place of divorce... man, c.s. lewis was a smartypants.

i also couldnt help but think of good old george w and his weapons of mass destruction hunt when i came across this section,

"the real test is this. suppose one reads a story of filthy atrocities in the paper. then suppose that something turns up suggesting that the story might not be quite true, or not quite so bad as it was made out. is one's first feeling, 'thank God, even they aren't quite so bad as that,' or is it a feeling of disappointment, and even a determination to cling to the first story for the sheer pleasure of thinking your enemies are as bad as possible? if it is the second then it is, i am afraid, the first step in a process which, if followed to the end, will make us into devils. you see, one is beginning to wish that black was a little blacker. if we give that wish its head, later on we shall wish to see grey as black, and then to see white itself as black. finally we shall insist on seeing everything—God and our friends and ourselves included—as bad, and not be able to stop doing it: we shall be fixed for ever in a universe of pure hatred."

scary, huh?

90% of communication is body language.

or something like that, right? honestly, i have to say at this point i agree. it sounds a bit absurd when you first think about it - but after over a year of working side-by-side with people up here in washington over the phone, apple finally sprung for me to make the trip up to the pacific northwest.

i've had more fun with these guys and made more connections in the past 2 days than i had in the past 14 months with only voice on voice action. and in at least a small way, i'm hoping that all of this hand shaking and drink toasting will make my daily grind a little less grinding.

seattle is really far away from austin.


deep thoughts...

"you are not a beautiful or unique snowflake"
-tyler durden, fight club

"Be sure that the ins and outs of your individuality are no mystery to Him; and one day they will no longer be a mystery to you. The mold in which a key is made would be a strange thing, if you had never seen a key: and the key itself a strange thing if you had never seen a lock. Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the divine substance, or a key to unlock one of the doors in the house with many mansions. For it is not humanity in the abstract that is to be saved, but you--you, the individual reader, Mollie Donovan. Blessed and fortunate creature, your eyes shall behold Him and not another's. All that you are, sins apart, is destined, if you will let God have His good way, to utter satisfaction.... God will look to every soul like its first love because He is its first love. Your place in heaven will seem to be made for you and you alone, because you were made for it--made for it stitch by stitch as a glove is made for a hand."
-c.s. lewis, the problem of pain

its funny what will make you feel better...

i was dreading tonight. i had plans with friends to go out dancing and i was just not looking forward to it at all. after such a stressful week- i felt like i just wanted to go home and veg on the couch and have a quiet night to myself.

well i rallied and met up with the group for about 3 hours at tambaleo and i feel SO much better. we just laughed and danced and had a great time- it was exactly the medicine i needed.

if i'd stayed home i just would have been thinking about my week and all of the things i still have to do for this wedding- but instead i got a night really away from all of that.

sigh. thank goodness.

its been over three weeks since lent began- this lent has been a conscious effort to be aware of my life, my stresses, and the transition i am facing right now by abstaining from alcohol and beginning to commit to a weekly bible study.

so far so good? i am more stressed than i can remember being in a really long time. i am overwhelmed by how much i have to do and i dont know to manage my stress. i am truly learning a lot about myself right now and at the same time i'm exhausted and at my wit's end with this wedding.

lent countdown- 3 weeks
wedding countdown- 7 weeks

ahh...engaged bliss...

we have a guest columnist today...

why lent rules
by mollie's liver

i have to say this past week has been absolute heaven for me- can you believe this has been my first full week of vacation in probably 5 years?! i swear, sometimes mollie just doesnt realize how hard my job is.

mollie can be so self-centered- she just thinks of herself and doesnt consider that girls' night with a bottle of shiraz is serious work for me. and don't get me started on the tequila quantities that chick drinks in the summer. sheesh.

well i'm off for a massage- i could really get used to this vacation stuff- and i still have 34 days left!

kevin and i had a meeting last night to discuss how we are going to handle our finances as a couple. i picked up pei-wei and headed to his house around 8.

the talk went well... we work very well together on strategic things like money.

the funny part of the evening came when i opened my fortune cookie that read:

THE ROAD AHEAD IS DIFFICULT, BUT REWARDING

i think i'm going to give up being a sailor for lent...

no drinking.
no smoking.
no swearing.

man, does that sound boring or what? ok, ok, so i already have the no smoking thing under control. its been just over a year now since i quit the daily puffing.

but no drinking and no swearing?! that would take some effort.

the more i think about it the more i'm not sure i want to spend 40 of my last 80 days as a single girl sober....

ooh ooh! lets take a sexy pic! ready?

one.... two.... three!






ew. oh wait, thats not sexy.

try again! try again! ready?

one.... two.... three!





dammit, that's not sexy either! i guess drunk isnt very sexy when you're sober.... or really even when you're drunk. but it sure is funny.

in visiting my mom's church last weekend, one thing sticks out in my mind that the preacher said. in fact, i even wrote it down. he said, "i'm sick and tired of the word "compassionate" being used only for the 'liberals'. WE should be the compassionate ones- the christians"

two things about that statement bother me.

1) he is clearly separating two groups as though there is no overlap. christians. liberals. as though the venn diagram of these two groups would be isolated floating circles with no middle ground.

2) he sounded baffled that any non-christian could be considered compassionate- as in people who don't believe in jesus shouldnt be capable of being compassionate.

what he is really sad about has nothing to do with anyone else- it has to do with the fact that the group he belongs to doesn't represent the characteristics that it should.

its interesting that people who label themselves as christians that make closed minded judgements, stand by deceptive leaders because they pray with them on sunday, and send people to die for a war that is being fought for the most selfish of reasons can wonder why they arent considered compassionate.

one question- if you were going to identify yourself with a group of people... would you choose the group based on their actions and what others say about them OR would you choose them based on what they claim they believe?

sometimes it sucks to be known as a christian. because the collective of that word doesn't mean what it should- its the singular description that i prefer.

this weekend was our first wedding shower. it was really so much fun!! my friends went out of their way to make it a really fun shindig and it was awesome.

it was so interesting being at a party where everyone is there because they love you and are important to you and they want to help celebrate your future. its kinda like a birthday party on crack. parts of it are awkward- i mean everyone was so generous with their gifts, its a bit overwhelming. its such a unique experience and we had a really great time. i just appreciate my friends so much!

i took lots of pictures - click here if you wanna see!

thought provoking excerpts from a new york times article a friend emailed me today...

So is the U.S. "stingy" about helping poor countries?

The tsunami illustrates the problem: When grieving victims intrude onto our TV screens, we dig into our pockets and provide the massive, heartwarming response that we're now displaying in Asia; the rest of the time, we're tightwads who turn away as people die in far greater numbers.

But the bottom line is that this month and every month, more people will die of malaria (165,000 or more) and AIDS (240,000) than died in the tsunamis, and almost as many will die because of diarrhea ( 140,000).

And that's where we're stingy. Americans give 15 cents per day per person in official development assistance to poor countries. The average American spends four times that on soft drinks daily.

We gave 15 cents for every $100 of national income to poor countries. Denmark gave 84 cents, the Netherlands gave 80 cents, Belgium gave 60 cents, France gave 41 cents, and Greece gave 21 cents (that was the lowest share, beside our own).

With America's image tarnished around the world, one of the most effective steps Mr. Bush could take to revive it would be to lead a global effort to confront an ongoing challenge like malaria. That would also give Mr. Bush more credibility by suggesting that the "culture of life" he talks about embraces not just fetuses, but also African children crying from hunger.

The best response to accusations of stinginess is not to be defensive, but to be generous. And the measure of generosity is not what you offer when the spotlight is upon you, but what you do when the spotlight moves on.

..... Nicholas D. Kristoff, New York Times

man, that last paragraph gets me everytime...

in honor of the new year, i would like to take a moment to do my own 'best of' list for 2004. judging on this was really strict, but here's what our panel of judges could agree on...

best day of 2004: august 6th, engagement day! (this one was easy...)

best purchase: ruby the subaru for sure.

best new drink: espresso martini from halcyon. (kevin i'm sure would vote for his newfound love, the white russian)

biggest splurge: i have joined the ranks of the girls whose jean pockets have designs on them. i sold my soul to seven jeans and i kinda like it.

worst haircut: avant on guadalupe.

best nightlife discovery: 80's night at the parish

worst workout: america's triathlon, memorial day. hottest day on record + back injury = no fun.

saddest day: may 23rd, the day alias left us for over 7 months. shame on them.

biggest waste of time: TIE! either the easter debacle with rhonda my honda- the straw that broke the camel's back OR sales methodology training at work. (that one's a toss up!)

best new queso: vivo on manor- definitely the best addition to the austin tex mex scene this year.

best concert: surprisingly- i'm gonna have to give this one to 'the darkness'. definitely the best showmanship of the year.

best meal: TIE! either my birthday dinner at mars (get the kaimen ken shiba- trust me) OR christmas dinner at my parents house. what can i say- the woman can COOK!

worst meal: easily the thai lunch i had at some random place off rundburg with kevin. i cant remember the name of the place... and i kinda dont want to.

most touching suprise: how excited my dad is about kevin & i getting married. its just the best!

new year's eve checklist:

tickets to the 80s dance party...check.
champagne...check.
fun new earrings to wear...check.
friends to ring in the new year with...check.
hot boy to kiss at midnight...check!!

tonight sounds like its going to be fun to me!

talk to ya in 2005.

i cleaned up christmas today. took down the decorations and finished the last cleaning jobs from our holiday party. its so sad to me when my festive house goes back to the usual blah with no jingling bells or twinking lights.

christmas as a ping pong ball actually went much better than anticipated.

my house, his house, my house, his house.

both the donovans and the burpos had a great celebration of christ's birth. i am so happy that i got to spend time with our families and really celebrate the past year. i also had some quality time with good friends- some i hadn't seen in much too long! (you know who you are!)

i really can't believe christmas is already over. i'm so glad i have a few days to relax before i head back to work.

i read this in my daily devotional a few weeks ago and thought it was great:

Edvard Munch's famous 19th century expressionism painting, "The Scream" has become a universal depiction of the cry of the human heart.

In the painting, the screaming victim is standing on a bridge with a red, swirling sky behind him and two figures in the background. In the artist's own words, the inspiration for this painting came when an unexplainable sense of dread overcame him while out walking with two of his friends. "My friends walked on, I stood there, trembling with fear. And I sensed a great, infinite scream pass through nature."

According to the artist, the two figures have passed on ahead, seemingly oblivious to whatever it was that gripped him with fear. This underlines even more the loneliness expressed. His companions have their backs turned on his desperation. They are no help to him. Only he can hear the scream; and their apparent disinterest makes you feel the scream is silent.

This is not a painting of a human being on a bridge surrounded by landscape; it is an abstract capturing of the human soul. It is a painting of the state of mind that many people are in today. We live in a time of momentous fear, loneliness, & worry, but our screams are mostly silent. Those who could help are walking away. Where are you in this picture?

Lord, make us sensitive to those around us who may be screaming inside. May we not walk on by. And may we face as well, the cry of our own soul and not try and distract ourselves. May our need lead us to you, the one for whom we were made, the only one who can dispel our loneliness and desperation.

sales can be so ridiculous. i just overheard this conversation between two people on my team:

guy #1 : hey randy! how ya doin?

guy #2 : oh you know, just smilin and dialin.

um..... yeah.

so i'm not embarrased to admit that i'm going to a therapist to help me prepare for the transition from singleton to old married lady. yesterday as i sat in her office, we talked about my need for 'alone time' and privacy and her advice still has me laughing.

she said...

"you know what i think you should do? you should try and have your own "room" in your house. a room that you can decorate any way you want, and no one else is allowed to come in without an invitation. if you shut the door, it means you want some time to yourself and not to knock unless its very important. you could put a chair and tv in there or a bed for taking naps."

i just had a blank stare on my face...then i started laughing.

anyone who knows my family or has been to my parents' house knows that my dad has this exact room. she described it completely as it exists- full of auburn memorabilia, old photographs, a comfy couch, television, and usually a dog or two.

i am so much like my dad sometimes, i dont even recognize it anymore. and that, my friends, is a scary thought : )

my dad's dog, patsy cline, got a little mouthy when she heard that the other dogs had their pictures posted to the site.

but then she felt really bad about yelling.

my manager at work 'volunteered' me to write a skit for people to perform at our annual sales conference. i hope you're rolling your eyes along with me right now. i hate this crap. i hate it when people 'volunteer' you for stuff...doesnt that go against the whole purpose of the word? to make it worse, i have been given the topic "reality tv". pretty much.

so wish me luck. in an hour i'll be one of the thousands of lemmings driving north for the holiday. in fact, give me a call, i'm sure i'll have plenty of time to chat : )

sorry everybody

this is the first voice i've heard this week that really speaks for me. if you have a moment, read on.

Two Nations Under God

camo dog.

artie is perfecting his camoflauge skills. i think he's getting pretty darn good at it.

hi, 51% of america, i'm mollie donovan. do i know you? i dont think i do. who ARE you?

i guess you are where you live. you're middle america.

i can respect your opinions and i can respect your right to have differing beliefs from mine. but i reserve the right to not respect the man you've chosen to represent those beliefs. i wont respect someone who doesnt respect those he governs. i wont trust someone who lies, not only to me, but also to the 51 percent that chose to overlook that fact and lend him support.

my heart is just sad today.

you know, it shouldn't be about your pocketboook. its about people. its not about enforcing your beliefs on others, but trusting them to make the right decision for themselves.

so in that same spirit, i guess all i can say is...you'll certainly get what you asked for.

excerpt from my daily devotional this morning. seemed quite appropriate for this bummer of a day:

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

27 was a great birthday.

i was initially really bummed out about my birthday being on a sunday and the forecasted rain had me frowning. ends up it was a great weekend.

friday night i did the unthinkable. (or rather what had become the unthinkable in the past year or so...) i stayed out until last call!! woo hoo!! i wanted to give myself a high-five i was so proud.

saturday kevin had a couple of friends join us for a surprise fancy-pants dinner at mars. it was the best meal i've had in a reeeally long time. it was delicious. what a treat to have them with us to celebrate : )

sunday we went to church and then had a few friends over for burgers and sangria. the weather was nice and the food was great!

this morning, listening to the rain splatter the porch & re-reading my birthday cards, was the first time in a long time that i felt incredibly lucky to have such special friends in austin. sometimes those little reminders mean everything. their thoughtfulness and caring mean the world to me- and i feel so loved.

go to www.google.com

type in "failure"

hit "i'm feeling lucky"


yeah. i laughed too. : )

www.mollieandkevin.com

my kick ass friend brenda did the design. she seriously rules. i'm so impressed!!

i promise i'll be gentle. it wont hurt at all.

for lunch today i'm taking 4 Saccone's virgins to the best pizza place in austin. Saccone's rules.

theyre gonna love it so much, i'll bet they carry me around on their shoulders chanting "mollie! mollie! mollie!"

its official!

i was sitting at my desk this morning and a girl on my team walks past my cube and sees my book titled "saving your marriage before it starts", picks it up, and says, "hey! i read this with my ex-husband!" through my laughter i managed to choke out, thats not the best advertisement i've heard for a pre-marital resource!

in other news...

i got home last night to a package on my front porch. i love that! it was the wedding dress i ordered from jcrew. (i know, who knew jcrew was carrying wedding stuff?!) later in the eve, fed ex rings my doorbell to deliver my amazon order containing my premarital counseling workbooks.

the fed ex guy says, "hey! did you get the jcrew dress i left here yesterday? i was so worried leaving it, how does it look?!" i tried really hard not to laugh and said, its great! thanks! it was definitely a 'cable guy' moment, but seriously, what a cutie to ask!

acl

austin city limits music festival was this weekend. hot. sweaty. dirty. crowded. overwhelming. very different from last year, but definitely remarkable and memorable.

i dont think its fair to say i was disappointed. it really was a great weekend. was it what i expected? hmm...

i think my expectations were unreasonable for this edition of the annual festival. last year i saw it all through the eyes of someone falling in love. i was such a blank slate and i loved every minute of it.

so who knows where i'll be next september...or if i'll be up for three days of sitting in the sun, listening to good music, climbing through 75,000 other people... i hope so.

i had brunch on sunday with my parents in dallas. somehow- dont ask me how!- the topic turned to inhalants. i explained to my mom that i had seen it done in the movie 'thirteen' (wow, how sheltered does that statement make me sound?!).

my dad added that he could always tell when the kids who work in his restaurant had been in the fridge inhaling the gas from whipped cream cans. my mom was in complete denial that people actually do this for 'fun'.

her response? i'd rather eat the whipped cream!

we laughed pretty hard for a few minutes. my dad and i were crying we were laughing so hard. she was dead serious. it was too funny. i just love that lady. i will be so lucky if my kids think i'm half as adorable as i think she is.

i mean she's so cute. she really couldn't understand why someone would waste perfectly tasty whipped cream to get high.

its so bizarre that wedding-speak has taken over so much of my freetime/thoughts that i actually have to clear my head in order to write about something non-nuptual related. i'm one of "those girls".

last week i ventured to Big Red Sun for their wednesday night happy hour. it was super fun- very chill and how can you beat the price? $5 to hear live music and drink all the wine and beer you want! i'll definitely be returning. i also wore my "soon to be mrs. burpo" t-shirt which is always a crowd pleaser. the crowd went to vivo afterward for some yummy grub- it was just such a fun time. i'm not sure exactly what it was- it was just great.

kevin had some friends and their pooches over for burgers on labor day. it was nice to just chill out with friends for a while and watch the dogs romp.

so thats all the news around here! i'm off to tambaleo tonight for drinks and fun.

so i realize its completely generic of me to say, but garden state is such a *great* movie and the music in it is equally wonderful. go see/listen/enjoy.

i was thinking about kevin this morning and the fact that he's going to be my husband. i mean, thats big time!! the best thing about it is, i truly feel like he is my best friend. that he, like no one else, can calm me down when i'm upset, can manage my expectations and force me to communicate even when its hard. he never ever makes me feel lonely. he can always make me smile, even when i'm crying, but he doesnt pretend the smile makes the reason i'm crying go away.

the best part about is is that amidst all of these great things, we just laugh and smile and enjoy life together. i turned to him last night when we were watching the olympics and said, when we hang out do you ever feel like we're at a slumber party at our best friend's house? he laughed, agreed, then gave me a wet willy. so i licked his face.

how do you follow up a post that has, like, the best news EVER in it? seriously.

well i guess the next big news is, i think we have a date!

to have and to hold from this day forward: april 23, 2005

now the stressfull part begins... contracts, meetings, appointments, budgets, timelines. its maddness i tell you, maddness! and just like anything, everyone has an opinion for you or wants to tell you about a cake they had once at the wedding of a cousin that was just SO good. or the band they heard that just butchered the couple's first dance song. i just nod and smile.

and of course i use the word 'fiancee' as often as possible. its such a fun word! so hoity toity! i only get to use it with abandon for eight more months : )

hooray! : )

hooray! : )

well if that was how to start your day- it certainly only got better... kevin asked me to marry him!!!!

beautiful!

beautiful!

now THIS is the way to start your day. : )

this weekend i floated the river with a group of 15. trying to keep track of 15 increasingly drunk people in innertubes is a bit like herding cats. especially when you are drinking as well.

not to mention that within the first 5 minutes, you lose your sunglasses, beer, and your tube to some mean rapids. and then someone floats up with a found 18pack of coors light that they insist on referring to as their 'booty'. and an hour later you realize the tube you jumped in after you lost yours is not only from a different company than the one you rented from, but also has someone else's cooler tied to it full of beer and their wallet. oh and you lose two people in your group that are then sighted floating sans tube and are bleeding from being scraped across the rocks without protection.

so wait a minute- what is it again about floating the river thats so fun? : )

testing this whole photo posting thing... now were *really* multimedia!

casey

ok math majors... here's a tough one for ya.

what does...

2 movies + swimming & sunning at barton springs + 2 sno cones w/cream + frito pie with friends - working out + 4 cold beers + 2 orders of migas from kerby lane - any kind of stress + 1 really cool rainstorm = ???

the perfect weekend with kevin.

i went to cuba libre last night for their thursday "martinis & manicures" happy hour. the idea is genius. especially the advertised $10 price tag for the combo. the martini? delicious. the nails? worst. manicure. ever.

i think a pre-teen playing dress-up could rival the efforts of this woman. i already took off the poorly applied and really unattractive nail color. but all-in-all, what do you expect for essentially $5, right?

the only other draw-back of being at an all-female marketed event in an enclosed environment? one word... loud.

in reality, it was just an excuse to meet up with some cool chicks after work and just hang out. that part was fun. next time i'll just spend the $ on drinks...

you know life has hit a rut when....

at your local grocery store, standing in the frozen foods aisle, you squeal with delight when you realize that 'lean pockets' have come out with two new varieties.

i purchased both the chicken quesadilla and the new supreme pizza (with whole grain crust!).

i ate the chicken quesadilla for lunch today...and so far i can say, 'bravo, lean pocket people. bravo.'

another night of tossing and turning. yawn.

i had a million thoughts running through my head that i just couldnt calm. i feel like something is in the air and i just couldnt find any peace in my bed last night. finally i got up and went running.

i am headed north today. kevin and i are going to visit big D this weekend. its going to be super fun! we're going to hang with his family tonight and mine tomorrow. my cool aunt patty is coming into town from california too, so i'm excited. my sister and i are doing an olympic triathlon sunday together.

all in all, it promises to be a great weekend. now if i could just get some sleep...