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is this thing still on???  

i find it fitting that my last post over 6 months ago was about deciding to do a hybrid homeschool because that illustrates basically what life has been since september.  family, school, church, work.  repeat.

i wouldn't change a single thing about it.  it has been so rewarding to be an active part of lily's kindergarten year and we have decided to hang in there for another year.  so we will have 1st grade for lily and eve will be in kinder!  i can hardly believe it.  it will be a whole new challenge to homeschool two at the same time, so don't expect me to be on here any more frequently :)

in the absence of posting here i have a myriad of thoughts and half written posts swimming around in my head but just lack the time to pound them out on the keyboard.  i do miss writing and the record that the blog provides through the years.

i photographed a wedding saturday about an hour and a half away from home at a ranch, about 25 minutes down country roads from the nearest highway.  at 11pm on a country road, nearly half an hour from the nearest light post, do you know how dark it is? 

dark.  i mean creepy sea of black, can't see anything very far ahead even with your brights on, and did i mention it was foggy?  it was. 

i am now and have always been terrified of the dark.  there is something so all encompassing about darkness that i can't get over.  i know intellectually that i'm fine and i'm safe, but that means next to nothing when everything around me is black.  i freak.

the morning after that drive i sat in church hearing the song lyrics 'your name is a light in the darkness, oh your name is a word of truth.' and despite having heard about 'the light' my entire life, it really washed over me how hopeless darkness feels.  how lonely.  scary.  uncertain.  and it just takes one light (or if you're me, the brights and interior lights) to break through all of it and change the whole game. 

i'm thankful today and always for the light.  and i hope to pop in here more often than i have been.