i have so many memories imprinted in my mind that involve index cards and without fail they all involve my dad. he rarely went anywhere without a pocket full of index cards to jot down his thoughts and ideas. i have seen countless index cards on my mom's bathroom mirror with little love notes and so many on the kitchen counter saying 'i went running, be back in a bit.'
in my makeup drawer there is an index card. it has been there for over 10 years and is written in the unmistakeable handwriting of my dad. it is an apology.
i see it most days and it never fails to make me smile. this morning as i was getting ready, i pulled open the drawer and while rummaging for something the note fell to the ground. when i leaned over to pick it up, i turned it over in my hand and thought about how much i love my parents.
see the thing that strikes me most about the note is, i don't remember wheat the apology is for. i don't remember what feelings were hurt, but i do remember there were tears involved and for better or worse i was upset about something that seemed important at the time. all these years later what stays with me is not the argument, who was right, what feelings were hurt or why. what stays with me is my dad loves me so much, he will always make sure i know i am loved.
as i go about my day with the girls i will hope that they do not remember the arguments, the hurt feelings, the yelling or the grumbles. my hope is that they remember that their mama makes sure they always know they are loved.