lily and i had a very fun morning. she woke up in a fabulous mood, played and had breakfast, donned our green (it was faux st. patricks day at school since they'll miss it during spring break).
when we walked into class she was happy happy and as eve and i were about to walk out the door a subsitute assistant teacher came in. my stomach sank because i knew this would be hard for lil- she really has a hard time with unexpected change. it just sets her off and makes her very uneasy, thinking maybe she doesn't know what will happen all day. she craves familiarity and knowing what is coming next makes her feel confident and comfortable.
lily's teacher knows this from experience, so she came over and gently let lily know that her regular teacher's assistant was sick. lily's eyes filled with tears but she was determined to not let them spill over. i watched her convince herself she was going to be brave and not cry.
she turned to me and plastered a fake smile on her face gritting her teeth and said 'okay mommy have a good day'.
it BROKE my HEART.
i couldn't let her keep it in. i sat right down next to her and said 'oh lily it's okay to be upset when things change'. she burst into tears and crawled into my lap and i held her until she got her bearings and went off to play with friends.
i was just so proud of her for trying and wanting to be brave. she's turning into such a big girl so quickly. i hope she knows she can crawl into my lap and cry even when she's too big for my lap. heck, i think the last time i crawled into my mom's lap to cry was about 10 months ago.