3.24.2010

okay all you moms of two out there- its advice time. i mean time for YOU to give ME advice. ;) i'd love comments on this one- how much baby wrangling do you do to keep your older babe a happy camper? sometimes lily is lining things up or setting her toys just so and hurricane eve comes through and throws it all into chaos.

type a lily has no idea what to do when this happens and generally freaks out. so do you:

a) say 'its okay if she wants to play with your toys with you.' and let eve wreck her fun, hoping lily will relax and go with it.

b) relocate or distract eve to allow lily to play in peace

c) start the day with libations in your coffee so these issues don't seem quite so dramatic ;)

d) none of the above. my children play delightfully together. sorry you drew the short stick.

15 comments:

Bonnie said...

I do both A + B and go back and forth. I want them to learn to work it out and I want to give Ben some times when I help out. The main rule in the house is that if big bro wants to play undisturbed he has to do it in his room. The rest of the house is considered community space.

Anonymous said...

I agree that a good combo of A and B work best. I think that it is such a hard balance. Trying to keep both happy is not an easy job :)

kerri said...

i totally agree with Bonnie. but might lean towards the b more often than not...don't want Eve to learn it is ok to bust in and destroy when ever she pleases.
and c might not be so bad as well :)

Jody said...

Love your personal and business blogs! Saw this post and had to comment because I have a 32 month old and a 13 month old. Said 32 month old tends toward my OCD while the little one is free for all! i choose B - I try to tell them nice hands and then I grab the 13 month old and give her something to distract her! Ah, the joys of raising babies so close in age!

crista said...

I also do an A+B tag team combo. I find it's the best way I can try to set an example of both patience and sharing. Sometimes I just go straight to C. Kidding! (kinda!)

Amy and Rick said...

Mix of A and B. Although they do need to be able to play together, they also need to learn to respect each others space.

Jennifer said...

I usually try A with her. Sometimes I try B but Eve just really wants to play and do what Lily is doing, so she motors right on back to her. Last time she closed herself in the cave to get peace and quiet. LOL. :)

Elizabeth Phillips said...

D. Ha Ha Ha...

We're not yet in the stage where G does anything yet, but when nannying, I've often encouraged kids to build something for their younger sibling to destroy alongside whatever they are playing. That way you are teaching them to play together, be flexible, and solve problems. I'm not sure E is really old enough to learn not to destroy so you gotta just work around it. In the long run, we can't always just pick up and move away from the people who fret us or send the others somewhere else. We have to learn to not only deal with it, but, in fact, are commanded to love our fun wreckers.

Colleen said...

I do a combination of A & B also. I try to teach Kamryn that Brayden wants to play with her and her toys, but sometimes she is in a total mood where you can tell she wants to play alone. When there are days like this, I try to get her to play in her room so he can't bother her and I take him in a different room. One day I know that it is just going to be a huge showdown though, lol! I can't control them forever. GL!

Cave Momma said...

Hmm, I too use a combination of A and B. I want to teach them to share and play together but I also want to teach them respect. I try and explain that it's ok for them to share and play together but I also tell my youngest that he has to play nice with the toys and can't knock down what she is building/playing with. It is getting better but my daughter is also quite easy going with that stuff anyway.

Oh, and C helps the cause on those "special" days. =) j/k

Good luck, they will figure it out quicker than you think.
Good luck!

Deb said...

Totally C--and bailey's is really not that bad for the kids either--serve it in ice cream and you are a rock star mom :)

Just kidding---we make big jokes about calling Chloe Destructo and laughing when she creates chaos. We also try to sit and play with them together.

Abby and I have many chats about Chloe is just learning and she does not under and that when Abby was a baby she did the same thing to other kids (this seems to make her happy in some weird way).

Also, when Chloe is napping I make a big deal out of letting Abby play with certain toys that are to old for Chloe to make her feel special.

and yeah--I in general was blessed by the Lord with an amazing child who does not seem to get that upset most days.

Anonymous said...

Well...I have never commented(and can't really remember how I found your blog) but I have a just turned 3 year old and a just turned 1 year old. I always tell my son(the older one) that if he wants to play with toys by himself for a little while then he can take them upstairs into his room. This is a good idea, in theory, for him but, in reality, once he gets up to his lonely room, he quickly reconsiders and plays nice with his sister. There are special toys(like those with itty bitty pieces) that I reserve especially for when baby sister is napping and he can play with them at peace.

Hope this helps and good luck!~

Erin
www.purewonderphotography.com
(google never lets me sign in with my gmail account...)

Evelyn said...

I tell Sara (2.5 yo) that if she doesn't want Georgia (10 months) to play with XYZ then she needs to find something that she is willing to share.

Sara has a problem with yanking things away from Georgia so it is a good lesson about sharing and waiting your turn.

Anonymous said...

Well, being a mom of a 30mo old, a 15mo old and just brought home baby number 3 from the hospital last week (yikes!) I have some experience with this. My daughter (the 30 mo old) is big into having her own things and wanting her brother to leave her alone. I have successfully taught her when he is wrecking her things or showing too much interest to find a different toy for him to play with. She now will run over and find something else for him to do. If he is relentless and won't leave her stuff alone I then step in and help him find something else. I believe they should be able to share toys but also have the opportunity to have her own space as well.

Anonymous said...

I also do a mix of a & b but whenever I am preaching to my older DD, I will also 'reprimand' my 10 month old and say "Your big sister is playing nicely with her toys. I know you're just a baby and you're still learning, but you need to play nicely too if you want her to share with you." She's not really being reprimanded, obviously. The point is just for my older DD to hear me say this and not feel so targeted.