3.13.2011

worth. i've been preparing myself to consider worth this week during lent and its blowing my mind a little bit.

for my own reasons, not through the prompting of the lent study, i also decided to cut out social internet use for these 40 days. i was on my way to meet my friend bonnie for dinner and started thinking about the past few days of not updating facebook. there have been several hilarious lily-isms, eve continues to blow my mind daily with her verbal explosion, and there are always cute pictures of my brood that i want to easily share.

i've either kept all of these things to myself, called a friend or family member to tell the tale, or sent an email with a shareworthy snapshot. but what struck me tonight was the thought that normally i think these everyday happenings are not only important to me, but in some way should be relevant or important to others. when really, there are so many more relevant or important things i would rather my friends consider other than my witty comment about child rearing.

fast forward to contemplating my lent story today and the subsequent suggestions on what to sacrifice this week. i read a few of them and thought 'but i'm nursing a baby! i can't nurse a baby and fast.' or 'but i'm barely getting any sleep as it is, i can't go without my pillow this week' and then i realized how much resistance i have created against the idea of being uncomfortable. as if worldly comfort is the ultimate goal.

so i sit here wondering at 5am (thanks to annie) why do i care what 600 facebook friends think about me? i should find my worth not in their valuation of me but in the simple fact that i am God's child. why do i think i will not survive for a week without everyday luxuries like pillows or socks? how ridiculous that the idea of being without such trivial items is such a shocking concept.

this turned into mostly rambling, but so far lent is kicking my butt.

3 comments:

Lissa Michelle said...

my thoughts EXACTLY. i deleted fb a week ago. and i don't miss it. i would find myself updating my status with little pieces of information that had no need to be shared, although entertaining, but surely there are better things to do than "know" what is going on with other people of facebook. it hit me like a ton of bricks when my 3 year old (my oldest daughter, who is just a few months younger than lily, in fact i had three under three, too, all girls like you) asked me why i am always checking facebook. ok, so, you don't have to ask me any longer! :) i may repost this if it's ok with you. i love it.

Ali Foley Shenk said...

I can very much relate to wanting to avoid discomfort. I find that a lot of my prayers go down that road. :/ But life is just so unpredictable sometimes that I apologetically just ask if I can cling to some comforts here and there, like I'm owed them. Not the case.

When I zoom out and think about it, it reminds me of some things that C.S. Lewis said about us not being created for this world and how our discomfort in it reflects that. Can't help it if I'm a fish out of water. :) And yet, I still must be changed...

mollie said...

just now reading both of these comments- i love hearing them both!