worth. i've been preparing myself to consider worth this week during lent and its blowing my mind a little bit.
for my own reasons, not through the prompting of the lent study, i also decided to cut out social internet use for these 40 days. i was on my way to meet my friend bonnie for dinner and started thinking about the past few days of not updating facebook. there have been several hilarious lily-isms, eve continues to blow my mind daily with her verbal explosion, and there are always cute pictures of my brood that i want to easily share.
i've either kept all of these things to myself, called a friend or family member to tell the tale, or sent an email with a shareworthy snapshot. but what struck me tonight was the thought that normally i think these everyday happenings are not only important to me, but in some way should be relevant or important to others. when really, there are so many more relevant or important things i would rather my friends consider other than my witty comment about child rearing.
fast forward to contemplating my lent story today and the subsequent suggestions on what to sacrifice this week. i read a few of them and thought 'but i'm nursing a baby! i can't nurse a baby and fast.' or 'but i'm barely getting any sleep as it is, i can't go without my pillow this week' and then i realized how much resistance i have created against the idea of being uncomfortable. as if worldly comfort is the ultimate goal.
so i sit here wondering at 5am (thanks to annie) why do i care what 600 facebook friends think about me? i should find my worth not in their valuation of me but in the simple fact that i am God's child. why do i think i will not survive for a week without everyday luxuries like pillows or socks? how ridiculous that the idea of being without such trivial items is such a shocking concept.
this turned into mostly rambling, but so far lent is kicking my butt.