7.01.2011

No one else will ever know the strength of my LOVE for you.
After all, you're the only one that knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.

i stumbled across that quote on pinterest (what an addiction by the way, all beautiful things i will never have the time or money to create in my life, but i can appreciate them nonetheless)

i have to say the last few weeks were tough ones. some of my hardest as a mom and some of the most humbling. i have just begun to really dig and i am determined to do better. you know when you're watching super nanny and the kids are so horrendously behaved and all you can think is 'that is totally the parents' fault!'? i'm feeling lately like some of this hardship is more about me than it is about the kiddos.

i just bought the book 'how we love our kids' and in the first chapter read "Kids have a natural knack for revealing the things we like least about ourselves. Even shortcomings we’re completely unaware of, things we deny, things we’ve successfully hidden for years. All of them suddenly begin to parade around your neat little life when you have children."

welcome to motherhood - aka you still have a lot of work to do on yourself and those gaps you are still trying to fill affect your children more than you want to admit.

even just since buying the book yesterday and deciding to be more present things have been better. goodness knows there are just some days when you don't have the energy or patience to sit down with a child who is crying because you made their lunch 'hot dog art' in the shape of a butterfly when they wanted a flower, but thankfully there are days like today when i DO have the energy for it. let's just hope these are the days they remember :)

7 comments:

Colleen said...

So very true and very well said! I feel like as much as I try, I fall short a lot. There are going to be those great days where we feel like we are on top of everything and things are going oh so well. Then, there are those days where we wish we could just rewind and start over and maybe it will somehow be better. Keep up the wonderful job you are doing as a Mom :)

Jenn said...

I enjoy your blog so so much. I stay home with little ones and there are these times that I feel like I am treading water. Thanks so much for posting about your struggles as well as triumphs. It reminds me that I am never alone...

Amy and Rick said...

Thank you.

nanann said...

I felt so much for you last week? when you posted about your horrible no good day. (and was glad to hear it got better!)

My goodness, just wanted to share that I think we all have those days -- I know I certainly do. The thing I feel like I need to work on is my yelling. And becoming a mother certainly made that one apparent to me! Sheesh -- I know my mom could snap her fingers and we'd all listen, but I just feel like things spiral out of control and I start yelling *with* my girls, truly causing chaos.

So you and me both can try to be more present and attack our separate issues better.

The Lunoff Adventures said...

I had to borrow the quote and the book from you to re-post on our blog. I'm having a very humbling day today and read your blog at the perfect time.

Cindy said...

Thank you...I used the quote on my facebook page. Your words always comfort me :)

Ali Foley Shenk said...

I needed this. Yesterday was a really hard day. I think one of my children in particular (::cough cough:: Cole) can get to me so much because he reminds me so much of myself. Sigh.